Believe Them.

You should believe women.

Think about how immensely difficult it must be to talk about sexual assault. Think about our society and how sex is still seen as this unholy, unspeakable act of hedonism. Think about how women are objectified in film and TV. It’s improving, but it’s still nowhere near okay. 

Think about women and how they’re taught to be demure, soft-spoken, to take up as little space as possible. Think about trans women who mostly don’t even get a fighting chance in this world because there is a violent resistance to their very existence. Think about how they have to operate differently in the world as women because people don’t understand how women can still be women in a nonheteronormative/strictly binary sense. Think about how these women don’t get common, decent respect. Think about how people won’t value them as people- HUMANS. We must be better as a society.

Think about all those things and then think about the reactions you’ve had/you’ve seen to sexual assault when even a shadow of a doubt is cast on the accuser. Think about how the first reaction is, what was she wearing. Think about how she’s instantly labeled something fiercely harsh and explicitly, negatively sexual because she was violated. Now think about why it may take so much time for a woman to think about all of these things, have to weigh the backlash for an assault on their bodies, and maybe think it’s not worth it while the men go on to assault their next victims. It’s because society breeds an acceptance of this behavior. It’s because it’s too much to think about and even more to remedy. It’s because we’ve grown so accustomed to letting men get with abusing women, instilling misogyny into the core of American values.

You should believe men.

Think about how hard it is in a society that embraces hyper-masculinity to a fault. Think about how men have been taught to ignore or suppress feelings so as to not seem like ‘a girl,’ because femininity is the enemy in a patriarchal society. Think about how men are assumed to be the aggressor in any situation, especially in a sexual situation. Think about the rigidity of male sexuality and the continued stigma of the expression of love between two men. Think about how this dynamic is problematic. Think about how men don’t want to come forward because of this blatant stigma. Think about the church. Think about the many cases of abuse that have been denied or paid off. Think about how these very instances have made men and boys not even involved with the church see how abuse isn’t taken seriously in a place where you’re supposed to feel the safest. If there’s no justice there, then why even bother reporting sexual abuse.

Sexual assault is not exclusive to gender, sexual orientation, identity, politics, religion, race, creed. It has nothing to do with political correctness or policing rights. It has everything to do with respect. It has everything to do with valuing a human as a human and knowing that basic human rights are being scrutinized, analyzed, conjectured, but not thought about as THE BASIC HUMAN RIGHT TO NOT BE MOLESTED, TO NOT BE TOUCHED, TO NOT FEEL UNSAFE. It’s a basic human right to privacy of your fucking body and to feel unsafe in any situation because someone doesn’t feel they need to respect your body is intrinsically unacceptable. No one- NO ONE should be made to feel sexual assault is allowable EVER.

So, when there are men/women being accused of sexual assault. BELIEVE the accusations. Yes, there is that tiny percentage that throws everyone off, but look at that percentage and think about the many women in your life. Would you rather immediately negate their accusations and continue this outrageous cycle of victim-blaming, or would you rather give that woman space and time to share her story without instant judgment?

All the women and men who have been so brave to come forward have been a true inspiration and I hope this momentum continues so we can all learn and grow from this blaring mistake of our past. Unfortunately, the leader of the land has yet to face any consequences of his actions, but I have hope that these other accusations will pressure the GOP to do something right and good for once.

So much more than a protest over a statue...

I’m sitting here with literal tears in my eyes reading/watching all the shit going down in Charlottesville as white nationalist take to the streets to protest… the removal of a stature and (let’s not sugarcoat it) the fact that brown people also exist on this planet and have a rising voice in the future of this country.

This certainly isn’t the first protest of white idiots carrying guns and antagonizing people of color- ie read a history book. This certainly isn’t the first time hate speech has led to violence in the south- or anywhere for that matter. And it is most certainly not the first time the sane people of this country have united against evil/hate. However, it is one of the first gatherings of these bigots post Trump that has incited a STATE OF EMERGENCY and has made it crystal clear that their numbers are on the rise and that they are ready to willfully commit illegal acts to get their message across. It works for them considering the way the law works tends to turn a blind eye toward white men’s indiscretions.

It’s interesting though, because if you listen to this video of them chanting ‘white lives matter’ (though nobody has ever said otherwise) either due to the counter-protesters or the poor enunciation of the phrase, it sounds surprisingly like they’re changing ‘black lives matter.’ I find this infinitesimally satisfying.

When they’re chanting ‘you will not replace us.’ Who the hell are they talking about? They’re talking about anyone who doesn’t believe what they believe, look how they look, and dare to have opinions that challenge their self-importance. There has been an undeniable rise and vigor to this movement of hate all due to the current president’s unrelenting encouragement of prejudice, injustice, and violence against anyone who stood in his way. Seriously, it’s mind boggling how quickly people want to forget that there was an election that put this orange danger in office. Now his voters are called ‘supporters’ and we’re supposed to forget that it is them who organizes these rallies. I for one will not let it go and I’m tired of being told that I should ‘move on’ and ‘accept the results.’ This violence is a direct manifestation of his presence in the white house and his lack of empathy for this country.

He will not call this protest exactly what it is. An act of domestic terrorism. Sure, maybe in the beginning it was just chanting and speeches, but it has escalated into an all out frenzy.  If you haven’t seen it already, the video below from @brennanmgilmore is horrifying. Click at your own discretion.

Video of car hitting anti-racist protestors. Let there be no confusion: this was deliberate terrorism. My prayers with victims. Stay home. pic.twitter.com/MUOZs71Pf4

A pure and simple act of violence that injured a number of people in the name of an ideology that has led to the downfall of civilizations.

And the spray-tan-in-chief’s words, an empty string of hackneyed phrases and trite words of comfort. The moment he said, we must condemn bigotry on both sides, and repeated ‘BOTH SIDES’ as if this kind of behavior has been displayed by counter-protesters was so abysmal, I had to stop listening. There isn’t a moment of his presidency where he’s surprised me, but this particular moment did make my blood boil. 

This hate isn’t going away. Sure, it helps that there were more counter-protesters in this particular instance, but their base is getting stronger and more abhorrently insolent. We can’t ignore this moment in time, and we cannot tolerate this behavior.

Fuck that free speech argument. They’re looking for war and they’ve made it abundantly clear.

UPDATE: Someone lost their life after that car mowed down people and it’s reportedly a YOUNG WOMAN. Her life was prematurely taken away due to domestic (white) terrorism. Two police officers who were coming to assist with this racist turmoil also lost their lives in a helicopter crash. This shit isn’t helping anyone. We need to do better, nation.

Help Me Understand

It has been 70 days since the most depressing presidential election I’ve ever experienced and there has been no reprieve from the glaringly unstable president elect’s ability to frighten and disappoint on a large scale.

As his inauguration quickly approaches to the utter surprise and disgust of most of the country, people are continuing to battle for their voice and remain angry in protest to, frankly, TRY to stand up against a lying racist no, def racist, fascist narcissist that is relentlessly threatening our freedoms. In all of this, he still has a vicious staunch following that believe his lies so wholeheartedly that any hint of dissension unleashes a reign of despicable fury, a litany of personal insults that makes you question whether or not this aggression is coming from something deeper than a desire to defend an ideal, but is really a culmination of compounded hatred and blind selfishness that leads to the hapless belief in policies in direct opposition to their own interests. Not to mention these assaults are usually led by the president elect.

I listened to a podcast today, (shout out to Pod Save America!) and was able to (kind of) understand where some of this frustration comes from. There can be an air of superiority that liberals have when it comes to discussing conservatives that can be off-putting and stratifying. Calling Trump supporters classless and stupid are not great ways to garner traction to change minds, but then again, I guess that’s not really the point at this juncture. The right has alarmingly made up its mind to house and support white supremacy, and ignore the plea of thousands to rethink disrupting Obamacare- just to name a few indiscretions. At this point, the priority is to protect the republic and defend ourselves from the inevitable onslaught of bigotry that is going to find its way into law. A vast majority of the country has made it abundantly clear that we will not walk quietly into the night, while this incoming administration attempts to steamroll, crush, and diminish our rights.

There’s just a piece of me that wants to believe people can change. In the right context, under the right circumstances, truth can prevail against a despot. Alas, this election has chipped away at that hope and I am resigned to believe no amount of fact or the witness of actual events will change the minds of the white America that is so wrapped up in an identity that is based on ostracizing and belittling “The Other” while turning a blind eye to an emerging government that cares nothing to little about democracy (or their wellbeing) and everything about money. 

To those people who will seemingly never see the dark side of this presidency: 

How can you so intensely follow someone who wants to MAGA for the upper class no matter the cost to the rest of the American people? Why can’t you see you’re being duped?

WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAIN?!

The ignorance, the selfishness, the plain inability to be empathetic and understanding. If you don’t understand the movement, the sentiment, behind Black Lives Matter you are not fit to involve yourself in any conversations about it. Your opinion isn’t helping. You’re not convincing anyone with your inept arguments. The only thing you are doing is expressing your intense disapproval of equality and progress. When you say, “All Lives Matter,” you’re neglecting a history of blatant violence, current systemic racism, and ignoring a plea to society for the equal treatment of black lives. I’m not sure how may times we have to say, Black Lives Matter does NOT mean, nobody else’s lives matter. What it means is there has been an unbalanced injustice in the black community, and this statement is calling attention to it. It doesn’t literally mean ONLY BLACK LIVES MATTER. YOU ARE ADDING IN WORDS. What I want to understand is why you can’t admit that you’re refusal to understand the movement is an implicit indication of racism or racist tendencies? Think about it. What other reason is keeping you from even reading about the plight of black people in America. What other reason is preventing you from sympathizing with the countless families who have lost wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, GRANDPARENTS, friends. What other possible reason can there be except you don’t think their black lives are more important than “police procedure,” which let’s get this straight, is obviously, perpetually being broken, shattered, tossed aside. 

That’s what it sounds like when you tell black people that the reason the police are shooting us is because we’re doing something “wrong,” we’re “not complying with the police,” or my favorite, “look like criminals.” If you don’t want to accept the fact you’re inherently racist, at least accept the fact that your prejudice is so astounding, that in all of your efforts you prove that you don’t believe “All Lives Matter” because you have zero compassion for those black people who lost theirs. I don’t understand why you get upset when people call you racist, yet you continue to exhibit racist behavior? It’s like you’re someone who’s afraid of heights, but won’t admit it and instead tell people, I just don’t want to be too far from the ground. JUST ADMIT IT. 

The thing is, you won’t, because you have no desire to change. You think everyone is out to get you and take away your rights, when in reality, we’re all just fighting to have the same rights. You won’t admit your fault because the term PC is bewilderingly offensive to you and the thought of being mindful of others’ feelings and concerns personally peeves to you. Instead of looking to figure out the stem of this discontent, you would rather relish in the rhetoric of a narcissistic megalomaniac who is hellbent on entrenching within this country homophobic, racist, and xenophobic polices that you wholeheartedly support. What made you so hateful and so angry that the thought of helping your fellow man or witnessing a weary outcry of a beleaguered community enrages you to the point where you leave comments like this on Ben & Jerry’s Facebook page:

Tom Bearman Lent  - Sade black lives matter does revolve around white people. Because within the context of BLM black lives only matter when a black person is killed by a white person. BLM doesn’t care about black on black,black on Hispanic or any other combination. You guys protest the vaugest of shut and use it as an excuse to attack white people.

Maximillian Shen As an Asian American, I see BLM being very similar to a domestic terrorist organization (disrupting others’ lives, threatening to kill non-blacks, etc.) Guess I will avoid Ben & Jerry’s for a while.

Jonathan Barclay I agree there is a problem. But when BLM openly advocates the murder of police officers then your movement lost all credibility. Like the KKK they are a terrorist organization. And your support of them causes me to now refuse to buy my favorite ice cream. I support accountability. FOR EVERYONE!

Jon Michael Necaise I will not be buying your products again since you support a extremely racist terror group who calls for the death of all white people and police. Fuck you Ben & Jerry’s

I’M SO TIRED.

*This post is not just for non-POC, but for anyone who feels the BLM movement is offensive.

Why Trump Is So Scary & The Affect of Words

Trump’s scary because he uses people’s fears and horrible racial prejudices to further his questionable agenda. Honestly, it’s hard to tell whether Trump seriously believes what he’s saying or is just pandering to the overtly racist fanbase he’s developed that has a downright insane allegiance. Just like I can’t tell whether or not Ann Coulter is a human or a cyborg sent to divide and destroy humanity.

The way he uses language to excite his crowds is expert, reminiscent of mob rowdiness or scary football hooligans. He never uses words too big like, “bipartisanship” or “cultural tolerance,” but breaks extremely complex ideas down into simple sentences, negating nuances of certain topics, like war and homeland security. There is this distinct “us vs. them” mentality perpetuated at his rallies and embraced by his followers.

There’s seemingly no room for logic when you see and hear divisive statements like:

When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. … And some, I assume, are good people.

Our great African American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore! (Twitter)

These are basically statements people say behind closed doors to their like-minded cronies, but are now made very public and given an international platform. Now, others who would have otherwise kept their embarrassing sentiments to themselves now feel confident in their ignorance, because, let’s face it, there’s strength in numbers. It doesn’t matter if these numbers are comprised of exasperated bigots.

Trump happily represents them because he knows they will vote for him. He knows the more divisive and pigheaded he is, the more popular he will become, because he’s attracting the masses of people who believe the reason for all the world’s turmoil rests on the shoulders of individuals who don’t look like them. Trump cradles the hearts of people who don’t understand the term tolerance, the people who happily dismiss facts to support flagrantly racist ideals, and the people who feel they have been “abandoned” by the “liberal” government. However, I usually don’t like making blanket statements like that because there are always exceptions, people who don’t fall into the bigoted mold Trump has created. I understand people are entitled to their own opinions and maybe there are other aspects of the Trump campaign that are appealing to less insane individuals, but honestly I haven’t heard anything from that camp that I would consider diplomatic or remotely beneficial to America as a whole.

What scares me more is they way he sees international affairs. This “us vs. them” rhetoric is nothing but detrimental to this nation that has so much healing and learning to do. In this world of misrepresentation and fear, Trump’s doing little to nothing to allay tensions. Him calling Obama a Muslim, as if being Muslim is something to be ashamed of, is downright horrifying when presented in the context of international relations.

The “us vs. them,” plainly, hate speech, is causing violent problems that the Trump campaign chalks up to “passion.” The events at his rally where a protestor was “passionately” beat up is a reminder of how powerful words can be and how careful these leaders need to be with their parlance.  It’s this kind of justification that rationalizes violence which is just unacceptable. And though I hate to say it, it’s indicative of the crowd he’s attracted as well.

Honestly, if anyone can give me a reason why this man should be anywhere near the White House I would be surprised I would really appreciate it. I just don’t see anything good from him being in office and can’t understand why anyone would. Ok, I understand it but that doesn’t make it any less disheartening to know there are thousands, if not millions, of people with these cray cray beliefs.

**edit: I wrote this last week before he came out with another outwardly outrageously hateful proposition to ban all Muslims from entering the US. Now, I’m actually beyond disbelief and I thought I had an idea of how ugly it could get, but I was wrong.