Anger? Yes. Frustration? Absolutely. Surprise? Yes and no. The ruling we have all been waiting months for, especially Breonna Taylor’s family, yielded a sentence that was not only insulting but a declaration of the gross negligence of our justice system. Wanton Endangerment charged to one police officer for shooting into other houses and no mention at all of the death of a young woman. Our pleas didn’t matter, our screams didn’t matter, the evidence didn’t matter, the facts didn’t matter. What continues to matter is an unbalanced, unfair judicial system that rewards and encourages black death and ignores black rights. Breonna Taylor’s story has been told by so many different voices and with so much hope for her justice and today that drive for hope came to a screeching halt.
Still Processing...
Narrowsburg, NY - you lookin good grrrrl…until I see a Trump sign -_-
I feel like a computer with that hour-glass that’s constantly flipping or that forever-spinning color wheel with no indication that the processing will stop. I feel like every day there is something else that I have to consume and make sense of before letting it settle into my memory bank of disappointment and exhaustion.
Allyship or But what about...
In a nutshell, we can all agree allyship is not easy. Being an ally means more than acknowledging society is messed up. That’s certainly part of it, but there’s more. BLM allyship means making active choices and decisions to uplift black people, support black business, use your privilege positively, but also examining the system and how you fit into while others are actively excluded. I hope everyone who is determined to be an ally also recognizes it’s going to take time to feel entirely comfortable after going through that emotional revelation, and that’s okay.
Moral Compass Shmoral Compass
Hearing both sides can be exhausting when one side completely discounts your humanity.
Friday Night Micro-Aggression Session.
I went to a symphony concert last night. It was last minute- my friend invited me just hours before. I went straight from work to meet up with my friend. No time to change, so I wasn’t wearing my finest threads, but didn’t look reprehensible.
The concert was absolutely beautiful. The music was mostly by Brazilian composers and no joke one of the compositions sounded like something straight out of Wakanda. It was by Heitor Villa-Lobos, Chôros No. 10, “Rasaga o Coração.”
Afterward, we went to the reception since my other friend’s mom was in the orchestra. She was lovely. Anyway, the friend who invited me (also a poc) and I were standing and eating near the bar when a white man rolls up next to us while we’re mid-bite and starts talking.
“My friends and I are wondering where all these people are coming from. Did you go to the show,” heavily implying we did not seem the type. We said yes and told him we really enjoyed it, explaining which piece was our favorite. His face contorted in confusion as if the song described hadn’t been apart of the repertoire. He then asked what we do. My friend told him his profession and I said I work at a startup. The man thought I said Starbucks and asked me about the sensitivity training employees had to go through after the Philly incident. I looked at him bewildered, and corrected him, “Start Up, not Starbucks,” I laughed, but internally was like-
Granted, ‘Startup’ and ‘Starbucks’ can sound quite similar when you’re chewing on a meatball. HOWEVER, a few things here:
1. We were visibly in the middle of eating and weren’t even talking to each other, so it was an awkward moment for a stranger to start a conversation.
2. Even if I did work at Starbucks, it’s another weird thing to bring up in a situation with people you JUST met- ungracefully and with questionable intention.
We then learned he was a minister and grew up in Japan with minister parents. He even has his own church in the east village - gawd bless. I know this isn’t fair, but all I could think about as he was telling us this was colonization, imperialism, and self-righteousness that comes with the idea that ‘others’ need to be taught Christianity to save their ‘savage’ souls but I digress. That topic warrants a whole other post.
At this point, he seemed to have gotten what he came for- making us uncomfortable and plugging his church. He walked away and I was very annoyed. Later on that night my friend and I revisited the conversation. I usually try to give white people the benefit of the doubt, but most times the conclusion remains the same: If I was white the conversation/situation would have gone differently.
This was certainly not as bad of an exchange as it could’ve been but micro-aggressions are still unacceptable. It was a violation of our space and comfort. There’s no escaping this behavior. People always say New York City is so progressive but there isn’t one inch of this country that is completely impervious to racism/prejudice.
At least the symphony and chorus was dope. Even he couldn’t ruin that.