Help Me Understand

It has been 70 days since the most depressing presidential election I’ve ever experienced and there has been no reprieve from the glaringly unstable president elect’s ability to frighten and disappoint on a large scale.

As his inauguration quickly approaches to the utter surprise and disgust of most of the country, people are continuing to battle for their voice and remain angry in protest to, frankly, TRY to stand up against a lying racist no, def racist, fascist narcissist that is relentlessly threatening our freedoms. In all of this, he still has a vicious staunch following that believe his lies so wholeheartedly that any hint of dissension unleashes a reign of despicable fury, a litany of personal insults that makes you question whether or not this aggression is coming from something deeper than a desire to defend an ideal, but is really a culmination of compounded hatred and blind selfishness that leads to the hapless belief in policies in direct opposition to their own interests. Not to mention these assaults are usually led by the president elect.

I listened to a podcast today, (shout out to Pod Save America!) and was able to (kind of) understand where some of this frustration comes from. There can be an air of superiority that liberals have when it comes to discussing conservatives that can be off-putting and stratifying. Calling Trump supporters classless and stupid are not great ways to garner traction to change minds, but then again, I guess that’s not really the point at this juncture. The right has alarmingly made up its mind to house and support white supremacy, and ignore the plea of thousands to rethink disrupting Obamacare- just to name a few indiscretions. At this point, the priority is to protect the republic and defend ourselves from the inevitable onslaught of bigotry that is going to find its way into law. A vast majority of the country has made it abundantly clear that we will not walk quietly into the night, while this incoming administration attempts to steamroll, crush, and diminish our rights.

There’s just a piece of me that wants to believe people can change. In the right context, under the right circumstances, truth can prevail against a despot. Alas, this election has chipped away at that hope and I am resigned to believe no amount of fact or the witness of actual events will change the minds of the white America that is so wrapped up in an identity that is based on ostracizing and belittling “The Other” while turning a blind eye to an emerging government that cares nothing to little about democracy (or their wellbeing) and everything about money. 

To those people who will seemingly never see the dark side of this presidency: 

How can you so intensely follow someone who wants to MAGA for the upper class no matter the cost to the rest of the American people? Why can’t you see you’re being duped?

Indecision

I’m not sure what to even say considering I’ve feverishly written about my frustrations with the way American society sees black people. This decision, though sadly not surprising, has left me in a state of utter hopelessness for the justice system. Though, the justice system has never really offered any sense of solace. It is the justice system that has many times been the justification for mistreatment and condoned racist behavior. It’s hard to think of myself as being an individual or citizen of the world, when events like this turn my world upside down. It’s hard to not feel like an afterthought. On top of that is the feeling of being disenfranchised and irrationally criminalized just because my skin is darker. It’s one of those things that if you truly think about it your head will explode.

With 200+ years of inequality, mental and physical torture, prejudice, and let’s not forget the inescapable pain of racism, black citizens are still fighting for humanity. All the while living in a country, as W.E.B. Dubois so candidly put it, whose systems were not built to protect us. He said this about 100 or so years ago, and it still holds true today.

Except today more people are outraged. Today there are more people who are tired of holding their tongues and following the sordid status quo. Today people are ready for change, fighting for change. Today people are tired of these unforgivable, senseless systems that do more harm than good. Today there is a consensus that America cannot continue on this destructive path of apathy and ignorance. Though it’s hard to hold on to and it seems to be a constant ebb and flow more than a constant feeling, I still have hope for humanity. I still have hope that change will come. Big change. Meaningful change. It has to. It has to or I honestly don’t know how we could progress as a society on all sorts of levels.

Black People Are Tired Of Being Insulted

I used to be nervous to write about race. I distinctly remember writing in my LiveJournal about how I did not want to be the type of person that solely talked about the subject, because I’d read some really despicable things on forums (oh hai AOL) and didn’t want my blog to be a place for racists to have a platform. I had grand ideas for my blog. Sigh. Also, I felt inadequate to speak about such things because I was “only in high school” and was a bit intimidated by the controversial topic.  

Well, now, I’ve grown up and have increasingly given less and less f*cks about whether or not people will like what I have to say and realize now, that the internet is full of idiots writing about things they know nothing about. The internet has laid way to a wonderful world of free speech that gets to reach potentially millions, but when I read certain things on the world wide web, my heart weeps.

This brings me to the reason I’ve decided to crack open this cobwebbed Tumblr.

I’ve read a few articles recently that have me absolutely floored by the amount of self-righteous, pseudo-intellectual bs pulsating through them like a mind-numbing, stinky venom. It drips off of every instructional sentence about how black people should conduct themselves lest they are deserving of mistreatment and name calling. 

Most recently (literally this morning) I read an article with the obvious intention of ruffling feathers, because the name of it is, “Are So Called Black People Stupid?” I had to read over the title a few times when I saw it, because I was sure no one could be that unimaginative when it came to titling a post. No. It was real. However, the best part was yet to come as my eyeballs swept over insult after insult about black men and black women.

Before this wonderful piece, there was that article on Gawker called, Black People Are Cowards, a glorified rant about why all of the basketball players on the Clippers are cowards (and subsequently all Black people) because they didn’t quit their jobs on the spot after that infamous conversation between the team’s owner and his mistress leaked a few weeks ago. 

Ok.

I understand the frustration that is inherently in almost every person of color for the way American culture is continuously trying to define what it means to be a person of color instead of leaving that decision up to the individual. I get the hopelessness that sometimes settles into your entire being when you see a stereotypical character in some movie or popular TV show, because you know in some parts of the world (hell, the US) that character is one of the very few significant representations of your entire race and you can do nothing to defend the reality that the character is but one of many facets apart of your culture. I know. It’s unfair, it’s foolish, and it seems unavoidable.

However, just because the world makes you angry does not give you the right to put down or belittle anyone because they are not holding to your standards of reform. The first consciously incendiary article I mentioned opens with the always controversial N-word. This one ends in “a,” but it’s not like that even matters. Anyway, the author says he is fed up with black people referring to themselves in derogatory ways, which I don’t entirely disagree with, but do not feel this is a reason to call black people stupid. It’s the cavalier way the article is written, devoid of other viewpoints or explanations for embracing certain offensive terms that grinds my gears. My favorite part of the article is this:

“Most black American women will live in the projects, but wear the most expensive clothes they can buy. Hair done. Nails did…as they say. Eye brows arched.Why? You live in the damn projects. Your priority should be saving your money to move OUT of the damn projects, not looking fresh in the club to impress some other broke people…who live in the projects. Thats stupid.”

Wow. Ok. I’m not going to bother with statistics because who the hell cares when there’s obviously some kind of class shaming going on all over this. People who don’t live in the projects do the same thing. Why perpetuate this stereotype and why put it so simply as if all that needed to be done was “save up money.” There is a perceptible hopelessness in some areas of the black community that manifests in different ways. It’s not effing stupidity, it’s systemic and institutionalized racism. It’s yes, I will never stop saying it, slavery. Yes, it happened 150 years ago, but it still haunts Black Americans today and continues to be the basis for a lot of this “second citizen” thought, prejudice, and ultimately racism. Our country was built on blood. It’s infuriating to hear people deny the reality that slavery made America what it is today, which is why there is still this discernible racial divide everyone’s reluctant to talk about in fear of being called a “radical” or “uppity." 

The article goes on to say this:

”I did not write this to offend you, but to make you think. I have to say that because black Americans are emotional, and have a need to refute, debunk, debate, and counter everything you say.

Well, refute this.

Black Americans complain about living in a police state and injustice, but what are they doing about it, besides marching, praying, holding rallies, and joining groups that have never done a damn thing for them?

Hold on. That was way too complicated. Black Americans will start making excuses about us coming together “as a people” before anything can change.“

You’re right, a-hole (sorry, that one slipped), I will refute this because this is written with little compassion or regard to human decency. 

I’m not going to go on about how much Black people have accomplished in that 150 years after being human property, but I will say we’re definitely moving towards progress.

Also, I don’t disagree with everything he wrote, but I honestly feel there is a way to express dislike besides creating posts full of offensive pictures and statements to get your point across.

My plea for anyone about to go on a tirade against the actions of Black people, do so with respect and humility. Bring a level of dignity to the conversation instead of condemning and name-calling, which brings me to that second article on Gawker. Here’s a literary turd I stepped in with my eyes- I mean, here’s one part that was annoying:

”The most common excuse I’ve heard for today’s cowardice is “they need to feed their families,” which of course is a euphemism for “for the money.” You know, the blacks that sold other blacks into slavery, there’s a good chance they used some of that money to feed their families too. So, that makes them cool with all of y’all?“

How interesting. Comparing Clippers’ players to Black people who sold their brethren into slavery? Totally valid. Yeah, no. 

This author goes on to say Black people are cowards because…uh… what was it, yes:

”Let’s step it up and take off from work and stay home with our kids until these preposterous tenure rules are revoked from public schools and it’s the kids that can’t be fired, not the teachers.“

What a lofty idea. 

It’s strange because throughout the article he negates to venture towards the really interesting truth- quitting your job is a privilege. Yes, it is something that many of us (humans) dream of doing daily, but cannot because of those pesky necessities like food, water and shelter. Could those basketball dudes quit their jobs? Sure,probably! They don’t though probably because it’s their livelihood and they’re not going to let some cheating senile old bigot get under their skin because all of a sudden the public knows his innermost thoughts about race that were probably not so surprising to people he interacted with everyday anyway. 

Now, I am all for social revolution and reform, but I’m not going to say I know how to go about changing the minds of ignorant people everywhere. The issue is bigger than all of us. It has to do with a system that is designed to oppress, but overcoming it has to do with loving yourself on your own terms, not bringing anyone down.

I am not going to tell people that they have to encourage change by solely doing yadda yadda, I have no right to tell someone they’re not helping the cause, because at the end of the day it is a choice. It’s a choice that we all have to make and should not be coerced into anything. If someone does not want to quit their job because their boss is a douche, they have that right and I will not judge them.

There is that saying, be the change you want to see in the world. So, with my little blog I intend to do just that. Write my little heart out about the race though I promised my 15-year-old self I wouldn’t. I know it’s not nearly enough to just write about race, but it’s a start, right?

For those of you who want to read those articles in their entirety and get pissed off like I did, here you go:

https://m.app.box.com/view_shared/z3n3yquiw7k3a36drftw - NSFW!!! There are some lewd photos in there, which just seems, frankly, hypocritical. Also, the dude’s actual site is expired. I would really have loved to see what else was on there. Bummer. 

And

http://gawker.com/black-people-are-cowards-1568673014

All together now!