No More Hiding

Over the last week, while not in a comatose state or gliding through the day encompassed in a cloud of disappointment and silent rage, I began to obsessively scroll through Twitter. 

At first, it was a way to feel good about the massive amounts of people who were just as pissed as I was and voicing their collective disdain for the president. Then I began to parse through replies that were, plainly, devoid of logic. As I mentioned in an earlier post and more recently, I’m at a loss of how so much of this nation can be blinded by someone who’s entire campaign has been nothing but an unapologetic attack on people of color, LGBTQ communities, women, and really anyone who isn’t rich. His executive orders reflect this alarming dismissal of humanity and what I was hoping would be a four year stint of hotheaded talk and no action is starting to look like an impending, inevitable hellscape. I should rephrase that, I was never really at a loss, because that’s just naive. I’m more appalled and overwhelmingly frustrated.

The upside is there has been so much unity as a result of this common fury spawned by an unwieldy emotionally disturbed, leathery man-child, but there’s also been an intense, palpable division of the people who voted for Trump and those who didn’t. I’m starting to think this separation is not necessarily a bad thing, but something to be considered as we move forward as a country and figure out ways to heal the gaping wound this celebrity villain has exacerbated. 

I, for one, would like to know how this can happen. Healing. I’ve written about it before - this seething hatred or prejudice or what have you that prevents the acceptance of reality and promotes the belief in “alternative facts” and justifies shiftlessly falling behind grandstanding human dumpster fires. It’s either this, or other individuals simply don’t care about anything except the bottom line, so their allegiance to the country won’t go beyond their pockets. How do we get these obdurate and uncompromising rednecks people to see that what this man is doing is not only hurting every American, including themselves, but can potentially (and has already) hurt the rest of the world? It enrages me how stubborn people are. Not to mention exhausting to see these arguments defending this pool of orange bile.

Which brings me back to the glaring division, that may not necessarily be a bad thing. I mean, opposition is how we got to this place of mobilizing and organizing against the dark lord enemy administration. And it does add fuel to the fire when you see positively outrageous actions and claims made by the LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. I dunno, something like possibly launching an investigation into “all the illegal votes” that must’ve been cast, since the Orange Wonder didn’t win the popular vote, or, I dunno, talking about the inaugural crowds in front of a CIA memorial and just weeks before comparing them to Nazis. 

It is no mistake that we’re living under unprecedented rule and every day has the potential to be been more heinous than the last and this division is causing tension, but in the grand scheme, it’s also helping sculpt our future (if there even is going to be one at this point), in a way that hasn’t been done in a very long time. More than ever, citizens are becoming involved with the political process and the dream the forefathers had for the US is coming into fruition (kind of- ya know, cuz most of them were slave owners and mega racist). The division is what’s making people pick up phones, donate money to great causes, and volunteer for amazing organizations. No one is letting anything dubious Tiny Hands does go unchecked. Our society is slowly but surely becoming more “woke.”

My only real worry about the division in this country is on a more granular level, in friendships and families, among classmates and coworkers. The division gets uncomfortable and hard to maneuver when in such close proximities. Obviously, people aren’t so uncivilized they can’t share a space with someone who has completely different views than the other, but seeing your coworker casually peruse Breitbart or mention their excitement for the Cheeto’s “next big decision” can be downright tough or ya know, the opposite. I have no idea what annoys the other side besides facts and logic. Hm, probably me saying that. 

So even if Timmy-talkative the co-worker and crazy-Aunt Jane are baffling loyal Trump supporters, the majority of the country is on your side. Proud, self-proclaimed ‘deplorables,’ and others continuing to avidly support this scary regime help everyone else identify those who won’t fight for the freedom of their countrymen and would gladly step on the backs of their neighbors for a little bit of prosperity. It’s good to know. There’s no more hiding. 

**Note** I posted this a few days ago, but thought it was a little too harsh. Then the next few days happened and now IDGAF. Plus, it’s Black History Month, so I’m not going to silence myself to make people comfortable. Even though I have very strong feelings about this 'celebration,’ as I feel it’s a direct insult to my culture and heritage because black history is and forever will be apart of American history, it’s still important to remember all of the people who came before me and refused to be silent or compromise their ideals for a society that continues to be unjust to POC.

But I Can’t Help It.

Though I am immensely happy with the way so many Americans are mobilizing against Trump I can’t help but to feel a little slighted by the fact this national upset is what’s prompting this cataclysmic reaction to upend the country. The kind of racism/misogyny The Donald used to incite crowds to violence is the very same racism/misogyny that has been pulsing through America for years, no matter who was president. These claims of surprise and upset are warranted for those who weren’t living under the burden of dealing with prejudice every day, but it still calls attention to how oblivious or comfortable the country has been with the plight of minority groups for centuries. We’ve become so accustomed to not expect serious change to this white supremacist power system because challenging it without the support of the entire country seemed futile.

It took an incredible upset to really wake this country up and I get that but it’s still irritating to hear, “I can’t believe the country would do this” or “How are this many people so racist/selfish?” This election’s outcome really calls attention to white privilege. I can’t help but to think this much protesting/outrage would definitely not have happened if Clinton got elected. I do believe the country was moving in the direction of, “Wait our entire system is inherently flawed,” but our system has been flawed as long as this country has been a country and it all started with the settlers and their decimation of the Indians. The horror and ugliness continues and manifests itself in new and frightening ways still.

How we as a country so loftily ignored centuries of slavery, over a decade of internment camps, countless deaths of civilians in other countries in the name of freedom (that number rises everyday), and are finally now aghast at the culmination of this history is for lack of better words intensely frustrating. 

I was distraught after the election results. For a second I thought we were moving in a more progressive direction, more inclusive and that it would be a slow moving process but that it was starting. Instead, I was in awe of the amount of red states as the night of the election went on, but in retrospect, it shouldn’t have been surprising. Everyone wants to blame all these various factors for the reality we’re living in but honestly this is the real America. We’re finally facing all of the deep rooted pain and suffering that’s been plaguing minorities (this includes anyone who’s not a straight white Christian American male) and I’m happy but there’s also a pang of sadness mixed in there.

Regardless of these sad feelings, I am crazy excited about the way millions of Americans are protesting and shouting from the rooftops to let the establishment know, NO MORE. There are a lot of people who knew this country couldn’t keep going in the direction it’s been going, and this the glaring kick in the ass we needed to really make America great. Period. NOT AGAIN. AMERICA HAS NEVER BEEN GREAT FOR EVERYONE. I seriously hope some things come out of this colossal change in perspective, including more diverse views on the news, a reexamination of our Justice system, holding officials accountable for decisions they make that harm countless innocent people in other countries, a national acknowledgement that racial socio-economic inequality is a direct result of slavery, more programs to remedy this issue, and finally begin making steps to close the unbelievable wealth gap and recognize the undeniable classism that is rampant in our society.

Again, I am happy about this amazing movement, but let’s not forget our history this time, and really take into consideration the hundreds of years that have led us here.

And let’s keep having these uncomfortable conversations. They’re terrifying and so completely necessary to continue evolving.

Privilege Man. Privilege.

Reading about privilege is mildly irritating when you’re not subjected to it everyday. Though, witnessing privilege is like having someone with halitosis speaking to you in such close proximity their hot breath feels like it’s permeating your skin. It’s as pleasant as hearing that damn ice cream truck outside your window for hours on end and then it stops and goes and stops and goes, then it sounds like it’s a CD being scratched, then it gets louder and softer. It sounds like it might be leaving. The engine starts, but no. It starts up again, from the beginning and it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on….

Here’s the scenario: Waiting in line for Friday the 13th tattoos behind a girl covered in tats and annoyingly talkative who has no concept of humanity or humility.

The waiting in line would have been absolutely fine if we weren’t stuck behind the most obnoxious human being on the planet and her friend. It was a hot day. My nerves were already on edge because they were being slow cooked by the sun. So, this girl in front of us discussing matters of friendships and their complications with an air of superiority, while dismissively explaining why her friend (not present) decided they “can’t do this anymore,” nearly sent me over the edge into a blind violent rage. 

First, she was talking about how she knew everyone in the tattoo shop and that one of the tattoos was of a dog she knew. These useless fun facts she was spewing to her bored-looking friend were seemingly endless. She knew this person and that person. She knew which tattoo artist did “those tattoos,” she rattled on, as people came out of the shop, their tattoos covered. Her father owns a huge company and she also owns a small one. She was a interested in this and that. Blah blah blah. I knew more about her than my friend standing next to me by the end of the few hours we were trapped behind her, however, the most infuriating thing that came out of her mouth wasn’t the continuous name-dropping or shameless bragging, it was something she said in defense of herself. 

She was telling her friend who seemed to be practicing that thing where you escape your body in times of duress but keep your eyes open. This girl, let’s call her BB for Braggy Bragster, was telling her friend, the poor vacant-eyed one, that she got in a fight with another friend of hers who wasn’t present (how BB had friends in the first place is a whole different query). According to BB, this friend of hers elected to stop talking to her because she claimed BB wasn’t a real adult. Why? BB’s parents were paying her rent and most likely a host of other things, and this friend felt this made BB irresponsible. BB was obviously hurt by these remarks as she laughed heartily at the claim and stated, “It’s not my fault my parents care about me,” then she said, “I can’t help it if my parents love me more than hers.” FLOORED. 

How she can so painlessly admit her ignorance with those few statements and have utterly no idea about how inherently wrong it is to assume someone’s parents don’t love them because they cannot afford to pay for their child(ren)’s rent was cray cray. That’s when I knew she was a grade A psycho. Something already rubbed me the wrong way about her before she even mentioned her “loving parents.” It may have been the way she spoke so loudly as if her thoughts and ideas needed to be heard over everyone else’s conversation. It may have been the things she chose to talk about like how she didn’t know where she was going to get her next tattoo because she “had so many already.” It may have also been the way she butted into my conversation with my friend and within seconds told us her father owned such and such and that she grew up with “the business in her blood.” *Eye roll.* It’s amazing how modesty can completely change the way you see someone in the exact same financial situation. The problem is not that her father pays her rent, the problem is that she doesn’t find the harm in what she’s saying. The problem is that she was completely oblivious to how insensitive remarks like that can be. The problem is that she is so privileged she has no issue with defending herself in the most despicable way possible. Her parents are well off. I get that. That is great, I wish everyone’s parents could pay their children’s rents or whatever, but the thing here is being mindful of the reasons why not everyone has that opportunity. We’re living in a society that has immeasurable discrepancies in wages for workers in all sorts of fields. The reason Daddy Dearest was able to afford paying for whatever is because he is being paid an exorbitant amount of money while his workers are being paid substantially less. It’s called capitalism and it effects quite a large portion of society, but this girl, DD, was not privy to the facts or plain blissfully unwilling to acknowledge them. Weeks after the fact, I am still reeling from her unbearable presence.

And now, I hear an actor who plays one of my most beloved fictional characters is also a bigot. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?! WHY SIRIUS BLACK?! WHYYYYYYYY?! OH AND ZORG! WTF!?

So, who does he hate?

I think Playboy secretly has it out to uncover every bigoted celebrity, which is kinda funny. Remember that interview with John Mayer where he claimed his dick was a klan member? Yeah, good stuff. People suck.