who decided on the spelling for the word yacht
probably the same bastard who decided on colonel and queue
Srsly.
Pic of the realistic Twitter Fail Whale via Laughing Squid.
I’m going on an OkCupid date tonight and I feel this photo has been a true representation of my sentiments after 90% of the “dates” I go on- failure. These so-called dates usually consist of meeting at a dive bar either both or one of us frequent, having the same monotonous, trivial conversation about their occupation and their hobbies (comedian, musician, artist, designer- does anyone have a real different job?!), then after knowing for the past half hour that no sort of relationship will come of the lackluster meeting we go our separate ways, me feeling more and more convinced that dating is this laughable activity to amuse the universe like some sort of pervasive Candid Camera, them confused as to why their story about how amazing they felt when they went to India and “found themselves” didn’t make me want to jump their bones. I guess I’m not helping by automatically assuming the worst, but my intuition has not betrayed me yet… unfortunately.
Luckily, I have many escape plans, including (but not limited to) feigning sickness, pretending I’m looking for marriage (to them specifically), belching, talking very loudly about previous OkCupid dates, showing them pictures of children and casually telling them I’m their estranged mother, telling them I feel a strange kinship with TV’s Dexter, “confess” that I really love Ann Coulter… or Tyra, and so on.
I think this trick might also get me out of there if need be…
But if this guy is cool, he’ll totes be into it.
