There’s Something Wrong

The gun control issue is a hot button one, but I’m not touching that right now. Honestly, I’m not sure what would be feasible at this point, because taking people’s guns away will make people (with guns) angry, collecting illegal guns (from people who have these guns) would require massive amounts of manpower and I’m not sure law enforcement at this moment (ever?) can be trusted to be responsible for this task, not to mention the current volatile relationship a good heap of this nation has with the police. Finally, not allowing people to buy guns at all would probably cause riots, hell, all of those scenarios are likely to cause riots. I just don’t know. I don’t have an answer for gun control, but I hope there are great minds working to figure that out.

At this point I think it’s safe to assume we are all tired of the lack of actionable progress made to solve this crisis of mass murder. People are being shot in droves, it seems, every few days. I took a closer look, and it’s even more than that. Apparently, there have been more mass shootings this year than there are days. Let’s think about that, mull it over in your noggins for a minute. There have been more mass shootings than THE NUMBER OF DAYS THIS YEAR. I think it’s safe to call this epidemic a crisis of astronomical proportions, don’t you? Some of these mass shootings, in my opinion, share a glaring detail, mental illness. This is not to oversimplify the issue of gun violence, because it is an extraordinarily complex subject, but to dive into one of the many contributing elements. 

These people suffering from psychological problems are able to easily attain firearms, and not just any firearms, assault rifles, AKA 47s (same thing? I’m obviously a huge gun nut), automatic weapons, etc - heavy duty stuff nobody but the military should ever possess. Hell, handguns are scary enough. There just seem to be too many loopholes and gray areas for getting/registering a gun. Did you know if you owned a machine gun before 1986, it’s totes cool to keep it? Also, it’s not illegal to own one. THIS IS NOT A TEST. IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO OWN A MACHINE GUN. There are also no Federal laws even requiring gun registration. Is someone selling guns in gum ball machines somewhere? Vending machines? They might as well be.

In most of the mass shootings that have been covered by major news networks, it’s abundantly clear the shooters are suffering from some major inner turmoil that has been festering for months if not years and all of this turmoil is funneled into destroying others. It’s downright scary that some of these shooters meticulously plan their attacks for weeks/month and some of them just “snap” and begin slaughtering helpless people, but in both scenarios the humanity inside of these shooters was diminished beneath a cloud of warped ideals, fanaticism, pain, hate, anger. It’s possible they could have gotten help if we as a nation were more forthright about mental health. Speaking with a professional may have quelled their murderous predilections. There aren’t very many facilities that treat mental health nowadays and more often than not people are completely unaware they even have problems. A stigma surrounds therapy in some households and that’s just unhelpful. There is absolutely nothing to excuse those unconscionable crimes, but maybe having a more open conversation about mental health will prevent more of these events from happening in the future. 

All of these shootings are, without a doubt, acts of domestic terrorism. According to the the FBI’s definition, these mass shootings fall under the definition of Domestic Terrorism. Look it up. These murders did “intimidate or coerce a civilian population.” It is unsurprising how hesitant the government is to call these acts domestic terrorism, because so many have occurred, it’s an intrinsic reflection of poor leadership and blatant apathy toward reform. Ugh, the GOP.

Anyway, my point is, it’s taboo to talk about mental health in this country and it’s too easy to illegally, heck, legally get these incredibly dangerous metal catastrophes. We’re not suppose to live like this. Those people who commit these unforgivable acts are products of our society whether we like it or not. It’s time to examine what’s going on and maybe prioritize our lives differently. It’s not enough (possible?) to limit the amount of guns in circulation or solely look at gun control from a legalese perspective, but to resolve the root of this horrifying recurrence, whatever that may be. Nobody should lose a child, a mother, a father, a best friend, a lover, a brother, a sister, an acquaintance- anyone to this violence. When will it end? How many more people need to nonsensically die?

I'm Thankful For Being Black

***Annoyingly I did not charge my laptop but luckily these little mobile innovations were created to not only keep me entertained while I wait to board, but give me the ability to update today!

It’s been a pretty heavy year what with the influx of news sources covering police brutality that has been plaguing the black community for years, the rise and growth of the Black Lives Matter movement, this new, open conversation about race that’s been popping up all over the Internet, and the general sense of frustration many have with the way the world is solving problems and how the media is portraying conflict(s). In this mess of frustration and realization I wanted to write about one thing I’m very thankful for and don’t get to say often and certainly don’t hear often enough and that is: I’m thankful I was born in this brown body and I’m happy to tell you why.

I didn’t always think about how great being black was. Due to the one-dimensional, prejudice portrayal of black people, black women in particular I used to be afraid of the way white people would perceive me without even opening my mouth. It used to give me anxiety to enter into a world full of preconceived notions and know I had no way of being seen as an individual or be given the benefit of the doubt. It made me scared to know my word against a white person’s was null and void in some situations. It made me angry that when white people mimic black culture they were seen as edgy while my own people were seen as “hood” or “ghetto.” Then I realized something. It’s something Eleanor Roosevelt said I think. Something along the lines of, the only way other people can put you down is if you let them.

There was a turning point for me in college when I gave up on allowing others to dictate who I was and let people tell me “how to be black.” Instead I embraced myself as I was, a black woman tied to history of violence and unfairness. A black woman whose ancestors fought struggled and persevered in a nation built against them. I found myself feeling proud and less angry with the way society viewed me but began pitying those that were racist or prejudice. It’s truly a mental illness to hate another human being because of the color of their skin. I used to feel like I wasn’t black enough because I was trying to define myself through society’s eyes instead of reality. My people are not afforded the luxury of individualism upon first glance, but that does not mean it doesn’t exist within our beautiful culture that has endured for years.

I’m thankful for being black because of dual consciousness and to represent a history this country is continuously trying to forget. I’m thankful to come from a people who have overcome obstacles beyond comprehension and thrived in perpetual adversity.

I’m thankful for a family that encouraged me to be who I am and accepted me without question. I’m thankful for people in my life that continue to amaze and surprise me with their open minds and hearts. I’m thankful for finding love that makes me smile from ear to ear like an idiot. I’m thankful for the way activists are clinging to causes and fighting for change that needed to happen hundreds of years ago. I’m thankful for the people who have woken up and realized slavery is still alive today in the form of institutional racism and not so subtle rhetoric in the media, but I’m also sorry.

I’m sorry for all of those men and women who were murdered by the very people who were supposed to protect and serve. I’m sorry their families won’t be able to enjoy anymore holidays with their smiling faces. I’m sorry this world has such a long way to go in terms of unity and equality. I’m sorry that this holiday of thanks is steeped in blood and subsequently so is this country’s sordid past. I’m sorry for all of the people who lost their lives due to radical fundamentalist views (IN EVERY RELIGION).

One last thing. I know race is “just a construct,” but until society recognizes this truth, it’s simply not.

Also, sorry for any typos. Not writing on a laptop is rough.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Cool It, It's A Joke

I’m back on Facebook which means I’m exposed to opinions without a filter or warning. On the most part, this is actually why I like Facebook. It’s a thankless, ceaseless exposure to thoughts rumbling around in people’s brains that they share (sometimes carelessly) online. It’s fun to see what strange and passionate things people voice their opinions about. It makes for a great read and an even better catalyst for Tumblr posts. Ha.

This brings me to the video I just saw (above) by the pseudo-news monopoly that is Buzzfeed, which I have found myself tirelessly perusing, because whatever it’s super fun albeit click bait. At least there is a section entirely dedicated to adorable baby animals and other “Cute” things. I can dig that. Who can’t dig that?!

Yeah.

Anyway, what really got me going were the comments below the video that-duh, I had to read, but got severely disappointed that instead of embracing the unavoidable discomfort that sometimes goes along with being a person of color in the workplace and laughing at it hysterically, people took offense. And not like cool offensive, where the opinions were enlightening, opening people’s eyes to different perspectives, but the other kind of offensive that doesn’t really make sense and is annoying. 

A lot of people in the comments found the video “racist towards white people,” which in and of itself is impossible, but let’s not get into that. It’s perfectly fine to have an opinion about the video, that’s why humanity is great. It’s full of a vast amount of diverse ideals that can be shared in moments thanks to the insanity that is the internet. However, it’s rough when people can’t just take a joke. 

I love talking about race because I find it fascinating and it’s because of comments left on harmless videos that touch on race that keeps me intrigued. A lot of people wrote in the comments that they were literally going to “unfriend” or “unfollow” Buzzfeed because they did not approve of this video, which makes me think of something called denial. I’m not saying any of the people who chose to dramatically unfollow this fun site are taking drastic steps to remove themselves from the race conversation but it kinda really sorta looks like it. I know, I know, it’s their prerogative to remove themselves from a threatening situation, but when it comes to racism, everybody is threatened. All I’m saying is, instead of immediately writing this offensiveness off, maybe try to understand why you’re so offended in the first place?

It’s scary to delve into yourself and find something you thought was impossible to ever develop in your mind- prejudice, a strange, impalpable love for Diner Drive-Ins and Dives. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s something to take an effort to work through. I guess I could understand if I didn’t know whether or not I was being prejudice and then seeing that video and being like, “Holy crap, I’ve said that,” I would be super freaked out and unfollow Buzzfeed, too. 

Now I’m rambling. Anyway, all I want to say is that I thought the video was funny and I was surprised so many people took offense to it…. then I wasn’t surprised at all and really hope one day an open dialogue can happen. We’re all people, people. Geebus, why is that such a hard concept?

The Wide Wonderful World of Retail

I read that Buzzfeed post 21 Things You’ll Learn Working In Retail and thought, hell, I know a whole lot about the topic so I should expand in my own way. Plus, I’m bored and woke up alarmingly early this Saturday morning. However, this (short) list is going to be more about awful clientele. 

1. There are two types of people that generally come into stores, there are A. Customers that are mindful of the people who have to clean up after them when they’ve unfolded a tee shirt (or fifteen), and B. Sloven a-holes who tear through the store like a tornado leaving articles of clothing in their wake, on the floor, on top of fixtures, in the fitting room. These people are called heathens and they are the worst people in the world.

2. Phone Talkers - Get off of the phone if you’re going to ask me a question, or at least pretend you give an inkling of care to my answer. Listen, hearing about Jenny breaking up with Steve while Mariah is hooking up with Sally is not really information I would ever need to know, nor do I wish to know. Having in-depth conversations about menial, pointless things going on in your life in small stores not only makes associates furious, but it also disturbs other POLITE customers who are innocently trying to shop for stupid graphic tees.

3. Air Talkers - These people just yell things into the ether and assume I’ll know they’re speaking to me. Without so much as a glance in my direction, someone will ask a question about a size or whether or not the jacket they’re holding is for women and expect a prompt answer from me when I am yards away from them. It’s even better when they’re not in plain view and I have to go searching for these morons patrons. It’s mind boggling the way people treat employees in customer service. What I want to say is, “Oh, by the way, I am a human and you can totally speak to me as such. I promise you don’t have to talk slow or anything, ya douche.” Instead, I smile and throw daggers with my eyes.

4. Surly Shoppers - For whatever reason these people are having a bad day, and instead of going home, eating ice cream and marathoning any number of series on Netflix, like a normal person, decide to shop and spread they’re vile attitude to the rest of the world, like a disease. Burdening unsuspecting fellow shoppers with condescending looks, Surly Shoppers roll their eyes when you greet them nicely. Instead of receiving a “hello” or at least a smile in return, you get an unnecessary look of disapproval or a blank stare. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE, I want to yell at them. Strangely enough, everything they’re looking for is conveniently out of stock.

5. Crazies - Out of all of the types of customers that come into the store, these are, by far, the most entertaining. Be it a woman dressed in all purple, pushing her dog in a stroller, or the homeless man talking to himself then astutely inquiring about towels, Crazies always keep me entertained and a little bit nervous. As you can imagine being crazy also means being unpredictable. However, nothing ridiculous has happened to me while I’ve worked in any stores, there are plenty of horror stories out there. People getting maced for example. There was also an associate who had to bang on a fitting room door because a couple felt that particular spot was an acceptable place to have sex, then there was that time someone touched a used tampon while cleaning out a fitting room. Yes, being in retail, you pretty much hear it all. People are generally disgusting, no offense people, but yikes. Man, the fitting room is a whole different terrifying, disturbing subject. Maybe some other time…

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Why You So Lazy?

I have been battling with this ongoing idea in American culture about the apathetic nature of this generation and how that general consensus enrages me. On previous occasions I have stated how much it irritates me when anyone groups this generation together in this sweeping, offensive way that makes us seem like a bunch of mindless, drooling corporate drones, looking for handouts from our parents and connecting with each other on the most superficial levels, using the the internet against us like it’s a fatal flaw to know how to use Photoshop and enjoy interacting with each other on social media platforms. I know so many people my age who have passionate conversations about the state of this country and its seemingly unstoppable downward spiral unless there is some significant change not only within the government but in society. There are people I know and admire for participating in Occupy Wall St. because they genuinely felt this movement would change lives. My warring opinions about OWS aside, this passion is an argument against the apathy that the mainstream media and various professionals have been perpetuating about millennials. It’s true we haven’t rallied together in some uniformed, flagrant ef you to the government/state, but it is not true that none of us are thinking about it.

I had a conversation with a friend at a bar the other night after I proposed we work together on some sort of writing project to which he responded he would be down if it meant it would actually happen. He said he was tired of people always talking about things and not doing them. Although, I do want to be able to wholly defend this generation from harsh terms like, “selfish,” “insolent,” and “lazy” but when it comes to starting a solid, massive movement our generation has in fact failed.  

Where is that fire from the 50s and 60s? Where is that rage against inequality and unnecessary wars? Where is the refusal to be allayed by compromise? That “thing,” that fervent, radical desire to make this world better. I thought OWS was it, but it has failed me in so many ways, but that is an entirely different blog post. Anyway, that “thing” is buried deep within a lof of us, but it is absolutely gushing from others. Our generation as a whole is not completely useless is my argument, but that does not mean there is no room for improvement.

I for one am a prime example of someone who can be doing  and contributing so much more to society. My resolution this year was to get more involved, but somehow it dissipated once that champagne hit my lips at the start of the new year. America as a whole has so much potential and there are so many amazing ideas out there, but the thought of reforming our infrastructure, which I am convinced is the only way we will see any significant change seems so out of reach, not to mention an extremely tedious task.

I honestly think this rant was brought on by the fact that I just started watching The Newsroom and the horrible thought that what if all those articles are right and this generation is doomed to become batteries like in The Matrix.

What do you think?