Dear Handmade Land,
I definitely need a silk-screened tee of David Duchovny’s character, Denise, on Twin Peaks. Must. Possess. That. Shirt. Denise is by far my favorite, sorry Det. Cooper. The shirt should be in cranberry in a size large. Might also want a sweatshirt. Will keep you posted. Please and thank you.
Love,
Chris
Oh. But then there’s the sad, distraught puppy dog-eyed James Hurley. Decisions, decisions…
Dear Citizens,
Stop the insanity. Buy locally. Corporate greed is a disease.
Love,
Chris
It’s time for an intervention-
You used to be the life of the party! Fun-loving and care free. You never used to worry about what other people were doing. Having a good time and camaraderie were your only focuses, but now that you have decided to compete with all the other kids you’ve become neurotic, selfish, and dependent… needy? No longer is it a privilege to be your friend because you’ve lost your filter. Anyone and everyone uses you in the most deplorable ways and you don’t even seem to mind. And you just keep changing. Sometimes I wonder if you will ever be the same. It’s time you picked yourself up by the boot straps and figured out what you really want. If not you’re going to lose a lot of friends. Apparently that new kid Google+ has some major swag. Just saying.
Yours truly (for now),
Chris
Dear L Train,
Get your shit together.
Love,
Chris
Dear Bushwick,
Sometimes it is, in fact, too early for Jesus. Kindly turn it down. The holy spirit is shaking my apartment.
Love always,
Chris