Shut Up, Chris Brown.

Seriously, if I read one more tabloid headline about him spewing his word vomit onto the innocent ears of clubbers and scantily clad teenagers on insatgram I am going to explode. It’s not entirely his fault though, and I guess I am unintentionally helping him spread his dumb talk by even writing about it, but people need to stop defending him and letting his actions go unpunished. He reminds me of a giant toddler, constantly throwing tantrums about being reprimanded, except I wouldn’t want to insult toddlers, because they actually learn from their mistakes and for the most part become functioning members of society. 

He’s said a number of hair-raising teeth-grinding things, but his most recent disregard for human decency at a night club prompted this post. The more I hear reports about him the more he sounds like a paranoid psychotic, rambling on about hallucinations that he’s “the shit,” or him somehow crazily gathering that he’s a decent person and that it was a proper career choice to record a song with Busta Rhymes, haha like they will ever be of the same caliber.

Chris Brown, you have somehow infiltrated the hearts of young girls who either refuse to see that your warped views about relationships and women are beyond distasteful, dipping into the dark pools of misogyny, or other girls who plainly don’t care, which is utterly sad and hopeless. It doesn’t matter which category these mind boggling girls/women belong to because for some reason you seem to be some sort of idealistic representation of the kind of boy they deserve which is horrifying to say the least considering your respect for women teeters between indifference and ferocious disdain. You need to tell women you are the opposite of what they should want. You need to tell them that they don’t need anyone suggesting that their privates are property for anyone to own. You need to tell them that it was deplorable that you beat a woman and nothing happened to you. You need to stop acting like an entitled simpleton. You for sure need to leave Frank Ocean alone, because he runs circles around your smoldering career. When was the last time you ruffled the music world with… anything? Exactly. Now, shut up and stop saying stupid stuff. No more ciroq or crystal or hypnotic or whatever insanely expensive drinks you pour down that disappointing muzzle of yours that encouraged you to go on that silly tirade.

Yours truly- just kidding, no one should ever use that valediction for you-

-Me

Ugh, I can’t. Image: Ewmusicmix.files.wordpress.com

heyveronica:

Actual audio of Adele and Chris Brown’s confrontation from the Grammys.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Hahahaha!

Voice of a Generation?

I know it’s not her fault, even remotely, but I am so tired of hearing Lena Dunham’s opinion on various subjects as if it’s suppose to be this incredibly insightful, illuminating idea that nobody else could have even imagined to discover. In different publications I have noticed people using her interview answers as some sort of voice for young women of this generation, the millennial generation, and I’m honestly getting really tired of it. More specifically this article on Jezebel about the (necessary) chastisement of Rihanna after her dumb ass got back with her abuser. I understand that she’s a successful writer and that her show has been a relatable extension of her experiences/ imagination that has opened up such awesome dialogue about privilege, class and race, but I’ll be damned if I stay silent about how irritated I am that her opinion is being held so heavily in journalism. She’s not a scholar. She’s not a psychologist, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I do think there’s something wrong when people take everything she says as gospel. I think she’s a great writer for what her writing needs to accomplish and I honestly do enjoy her show… begrudgingly ha. Anyway, I just want to reiterate that she is just a person with an opinion not this omnipotent deity that seems to be growing with fervor in the media. And if I hear the phrase, “Voice of our generation,” come out of anyone’s mouth about anyone I’m going to go cray cray. There are so many different lifestyles in our generation that are being ignored in pop culture, so I really don’t think one person deserves to be the voice of any generation. Geebus. Phew. Glad I got that out. Happy Monday everyone.

Celebrity Denial

I used to get angry when people spoke of celebrities like they were friends of theirs who were over for a few brews just chatting about life. NO. You found out that absurdly private information via poorly written tabloid columns. “Man, Lindsay needs to get her life together.” Or, “Poor Katie Holmes. So glad she got out of that nightmare relationship with Tom.” Or, “Rihanna’s an idiot for getting back with Chris.” (she is).  However, now it just makes me plain sad… for my withering brain capacity.

Without actively seeking this knowledge I have unwillingly been subjected to intricate details of complete strangers lives and get this- STORING IT. You know how I know? Because without even thinking about it I can remember mostly every detail of any recent celebrity scandal/happening/event/tediously boring activity just by hearing the name of the celebrity involved. This makes me increasingly uncomfortable for two reasons, one: I can barely remember what I ate yesterday, but I can recite the birth date of Jay-Z and Beyonce’s baby. Two: Knowing a celebrity’s net worth makes me want to punch kittens and kick puppies. I don’t like feeling the compulsion to punch or kick cute, cuddly animals, but once I read how much Kristen Stewart is getting paid to play a mopey teen in yet another sub par, monotonous indie move, or better yet, a certain popular vampire-lover with zero range of emotion and a penchant for adultery- reason goes out the window. All I see is red.

I wish I was this adept at retaining music knowledge. Whenever I listen to music I rarely know who’s singing or even what decade it came from. I barely know anything about musicians. What do you mean Franklin Ocean isn’t a British composer from 1819? So Grimes isn’t a euphemism for an STI? Lil Wayne isn’t a race horse from New Jersey? Rihanna’s terrible. See what I mean? Clueless. 

I am actively trying to offset this celebrity trivia with more important things though, like pictures of food… and politics. Although, I must admit, telling people about how Al Roker shat his pants at the White House is an excellent conversation-starter.

This is like my favorite thing ever. EVER.