I wrote this post last year (Believe Them) when there was a moment where quite a number of women and men were coming out and speaking their truth about being sexually assaulted. It’s around the time when the MeToo movement that Tarana Burke started to hit the mainstream. It’s disappointing what I wrote last year is still poignant and how little things have changed since then in terms of how (stupid people in) society reacts towards women opening up about assault.
Dr. Ford’s testimony a few weeks ago was extremely hard to listen to and I cannot imagine having to relive a night like that in front of the entire country and still hold it together, let alone confront the unfathomable backlash by deniers- by THE PRESIDENT. Everyone makes it a point to say how brave she is for doing this, but is there a word for beyond brave, because she’s that.
One of the many detestable notions to come from this incredibly infuriating situation, that’s allowing a man who has a history of sexual assault to be apart of the highest court in our country and who has made it known he wants to revoke the rights of women, is the nauseating inference that he is the victim. That now his life is in shambles because Dr.Ford has come forward. He’s such a garbage person.
The rage that stirs in me when I hear MEN talk about how their lives are harder now that their detestable behavior has been exposed and now they have to face - gasp - consequences is immeasurable. What about the woman you gave no thought to violating and her having to deal with that for the rest of her life? Not a thought to her. They’re defense is to cling to the few cases where men have been falsely accused and if that doesn’t work, invoking the misogynistic locutions, “She wanted it,” or “Did you see what she was wearing?” The most devastating thing is, those positions, those presumptions actually hold up in court.
Christ. Who the hell wants to go through that type of trauma over and over again only to be crestfallen, because this country protects cis straight mid to upper class white men. They’re protected so vehemently, that even if a woman dares to step forward with a video recording, an audio recording, 2093452 witnesses it won’t matter, because the “upstanding character” of a man has time and time again proven to outweigh the brutal honesty of a woman. Women come forward because they want and deserve justice. They come forward so the man can understand that his actions under the influence of “few beers” caused years of deep-rooted depression and anxiety, sometimes manifesting physically. Women come forward because they want to make sure it never happens again to another woman. Where is the accountability?
There is hope, though. We won’t stop fighting because the future belongs to all of us and it’s imperative we work together to make it safer. The MeToo movement won’t stop even though a drunken mess has been appointed to Supreme Court. There are good men out there who have taken up arms in this fight against the patriarchy that perpetuates this mistreatment and injustice. Our work is far from over, but the orange monster just fuels this feminist fire. Women’s voices are just getting stronger and stronger, and we will not be silenced ever again.