I have been floored by the sheer number of rude, callous, stunningly cruel comments I’ve seen recently. There is a truly, evil cynical energy engulfing this country and stifling the dreams of change, of standing against the status quo, of believing in solidarity as communities fracture and hope is crushed under hubris and greed. This past omg has it only been a week?! - This past week has established a hypersensitivity in me that is sometimes overwhelming and is a constant reminder that these are yet again unprecedented times. I feel like I haven’t been able to truly relax since the 20th. I’ve had moments, but my mind continuously returns to the impending collapse they all seem to be rushing towards. Speeding towards destruction with a boldness and vigor that makes my stomach churn. It’s doubly scary because so many people still don’t seem to get it. Project 2025 is here and it’s just the beginning.

So many people are excited about the eroding of rights, disassembling of decorum, embracing fascism with a glee that is so sickening it’s almost sad because they seem to think all these policies, agencies, and people being targeted aren’t going to directly affect them. It’s this selfishness that has been cultivated for years, this toxic individualism that negates to acknowledge society is interconnected and dependent. It’s not a bunch of people completely disconnected wandering around and bouncing off each other like repelling atoms. We are microcosms, the collective a biosphere made up of beautiful colors and cultures that enrich life making it exciting and unpredictable. How can you live in this world and not be absolutely enamored by the so many different ways people choose to express themselves, value life, and just live? Nobody is the same. We are all unique snowflakes that can come together and create the cutest snowman or the most devastating storm.

It’s easy to forget how much strength we have as a people when we’re constantly being bombarded by executive orders and memos loudly proclaiming how much power the administration has and how careless they are about wielding it. Giving up is exactly what they’re banking on. They’re wearing us down with each outrageous claim and action. I know I’m worn. It has just been a, say it with me now, a week.

This post was supposed to be positive, but I’m so exhausted I can barely form words and have been forgetting what to type and where this post should go. I’m tired of reading alarmist articles and headlines. I’m tired of being informed. I’m tired of being unable to disconnect. I’m tired of pretending the world doesn’t feel like it’s literally on the brink of war. I’m just plain tired.

But even with all that exhaustion, it does feel right to hold on to decency. Online, in person, with strangers. I won’t let this administration make me forget who I am and forget that it’s going to take all of us to get through this. I won’t forget the cruelty, fear, or hate they’re encouraging. Ripping families a apart, redefining what it means to be American, gaslighting the nation, and consistently ignoring facts and history. No matter their shameless tactics, their intentions to divide, their brazen greed, I will hold onto this fragment of hope and get some sleep so I can build it back up again.

Until then. I really need to log off and lay down. My lullaby…