It’s finally here. The 31st. The end of an entire year filled with all sorts of emotions, experiences, endings, and beginnings.
We were mesmerized by Moo Deng, disappointed by Donald, and astounded by AI to name a few things.
Personally, I had a pretty intense year. Lots of feelings. Lots of change. Lots of discovery. I wouldn’t change it for the world as it has been filled with lots of learning as well. Instead of writing a bunch of resolutions, I wanted to share some things I learned about myself this year:
I really enjoy traveling alone and the thought no longer scares me. I already have some places lined up for solo traveling. Get ready world!
Apparently I like a genre of music called trillwave (ty Spotify I guess?)
2a - I also need to listen to more music on Spotify because that wrapped list was not it.
I’m much stronger than I thought. And let me explain because I feel like I see this a lot and I’m always like “okay…” For me, I’m talking about my sense of self. Moments of doubt in myself used to feel so overwhelming and constant. I suffered from imposter syndrome for so long it started to feel like a personality trait. This year I started to examine where this lack of confidence came from and explored ways to build my confidence resulting in a much firmer, happier sense of who I am.
I don’t like edamame. Listen, it’s been a journey to admit this out loud, but it’s true. I’ll eat it if it’s there, but I don’t need it. Ever.
I can be susceptible to internet insanity. After the election I found myself doom scrolling and beginning to believe all of these unrealistic, absurd predictions about what will happen to America once Trump is sworn in. It was almost this sick comfort in waiting for the end. It was a dark few weeks! But then I leveled out and started to really think about how much it would take for this country to completely descend into chaos. While I certainly believe it’s still possible, it doesn’t feel as inevitable as it has in those initial days after the election.
I missed reading. I’ve been reading much more than previous years and it’s been really nice.
I really enjoy being alone and that’s not a bad thing. I used to think being alone was selfish. That I shouldn’t need as much alone time as I do. I am leaning into what my mind and body need and it’s a day of doing absolutely nothing at least once a week.
I need more discipline. I liked to think I can just fall into habits or just ✨magically feel inclined✨ to accomplish things. Discipline for me had a negative connotation because it felt like I shouldn’t have to “force” myself to do something, like writing. “It should just come naturally.” I am continuing to reexamine what it means to be disciplined but it includes redefining it for me and accepting there is nothing wrong with a little structure.
I can’t think of a 9 but I really wanted 10 so lets’s pretend this is something profound you’re reading. Oh, I like things being even I guess? Sure, that works.
Therapy has been so much more helpful than I imagined. I have such a softer, more understanding view of myself after being in therapy for over a year. I actually give myself grace instead of just saying it in my head and pretending I’m not throttling myself with negativity and frustration. Being a human is so messy and complicated. Having a licensed professional help me navigate some of these patterns and thought processes that are simply unhelpful has been so eye opening.
It’s been a good year for discovery and travel. I saw so many beautiful people, places, and things this year. I’m looking forward to experiencing more of that next year even with the orange psycho being sworn into office. I am hoping for the best these next four years and will be writing regardless of how things go, so hopefully we can all process together.
Here’s to 2025 and focusing on community, love, and joy. Here’s to handling only what we can control and trying to let go of the rest. Here’s to caring about each other and actually giving grace.
Thank you to everyone who’s read every post, a few posts, one post, clicked on the link out of curiosity. Thank you for reading, truly.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!