All these over-the-top proposals that have pooped popped up in the last few months/year have really made me think. After getting over the initial disbelief shock of someone being so thoughtful and caring (to the point of nausea), I began to think about how irritating it is that these grand gestures are supposed to be a measurement of love and/or devotion. Hey, maybe it is for them, but then I thought about the innumerable years I have been subjected to this notion that a single gesture can nullify any outstanding problem a couple may have had or that was the only way to show somebody you love them.
Looking at movies and TV when a dude or cheats on his girlfriend or wife or whatever, doing something super shitty to them but then using his/her masterful creativity and cunning wins them back with a giant sing along in Times Square or by crafting huge signs that say, “i love you,” out of pigs’ blood rose petals. My qualm with these unrealistic gestures is just that. They are unrealistic and set these dramatic standards for relationships that are neither important or useful. Being in a relationship is so much more than what we as outsiders comprehend as a loving relationship based on that Youtube video that got “mad likes.” A relationship is something special. Something that doesn’t need a massive romantic gesture or the approval of strangers. It doesn’t need to be publicized or recorded for anyone but the participants.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Who is this angry, resentful, jealous bitch?” I assure you I am none of those things. Maybe slightly resentful (the most romantic gesture I can think of involves friends bringing over a bottle of whiskey to share before we stumble out of my apartment to a bar just to get further disappointed by the opposite sex) but I’m mostly happy for these people who are getting married because they love each other and all that jazz. What upsets me is the feeling these gestures inspire in others. There are people out there who simply cannot afford to impress their significant other by renting out the Hubbell Space Telescope and writing their proposal in the stars using lasers and alien technology (future husband take note, I will not accept a proposal any other way). This does not mean they are any less capable of love and affection. It just means their priorities are elsewhere. Maybe instead of that grand gesture a wife-to-be has started helping her future wife/husband pay off those infernal student loans or a future husband is putting money aside for an adventurous holiday in Brazil with his future husband/wife.
All I’m saying is these gestures seem to be a reflection of our societal predisposed inclinations to think bigger is better. The more expensive, elaborate the gift the more that recipient means to the giver. You know, that whole capitalist industrial complex or whatever. I may be interpreting these reactions harshly (or inaccurately), but I can’t help how I feel, so I won’t. After getting older and painstakingly tearing myself away learning that Disney movies and romantic comedies were not indicative of what real love is, I started to get angry at this perpetual notion of vapid love. Oh, but that is a whole ‘nother can o’ worms.
I’m out.
