There’s been a lot going around on the internet about women not valuing themselves for one reason or another and I’d like ask why we’re so quick to judge these women because of their wardrobe and how detrimental that is to feminism. 

This all started with that post by Ayesha Curry who wrote a seemingly innocent tweet about some women she was observing in a magazine that were (I guess?) scantily clad and she explained how she only let the person who matters most see her goods or whatever and that’s totally fine. Subsequently, this tweet sparked an interesting array of responses, but the most troubling one was the idea that women who dressed a certain way could not be considered “classy” whatever the hell that means. My question is this: What’s the point of demonizing women for being proud of their assets and psycho analyzing their decision to wear a contour dress instead of a potato sack? 

Women are constantly being looked down on because of the severe lack of respect and countless, exhaustingly vapid portrayals of women- especially women of color. We are pigeonholed as “angry” or “loud” or “strong,”- but in this context it makes it seem like “strength” is an attribute that’s hard and unfeeling as we face adversity, but this is simply not true. It’s as if society doesn’t want us to share in the same spectrum of human emotion as white women. We are not very often portrayed in media as demure or soft-spoken, gentle and whimsical. More often than not in entertainment, we are the straight-talker, no nonsense haver, but rarely the quirky love interest or heaven forbid the manic pixie dream girl. Instead our representation is reduced to some other viewpoint that strips us of dimension. Yes, there are exceptions, but the overarching reality remains the same. Prejudice is still alive and well.

And don’t get me started about some of these glorified gangster music videos. A medium where black women are merely objects to be ogled at and often referred to as trophies or more detrimentally, conquests. The term “video hos,” or my personal favorite, “vidoe vixens” as I’m sure we’ve all heard used to describe women dressed in g-strings or twerking behind some schmuck rapping about jets or something, is just plain problematic. The women in those videos are there as ornaments, a testament to this warped notion that masculinity = disrespecting femininity. It doesn’t matter if those women have degrees, have an interest in marine biology or are amazing artists, in those moments we are to forget there are humans behind that mesh tank top and that’s bothersome. I digress.

My point is, there is enough influence out there that is making it hard to just be a black woman in society without us being so judgmental within our own community. Hell. Women, all of us. It’s hard to be a woman in a society that is declaring war on your body and mind and uses subtle tactics to maintain this helter-skelter patriarchy that’s honestly not helping anyone. We as women need to ban together when sentiments like these are spread like wildfire and our sisters are held to these intrinsically sexist standards of how a “real woman” should behave or a “genuine woman” should dress. This extends to another horrible notion that women of color who straighten their hair or wear weave are not as “educated” or “artistic.” Because they don’t have dreads down to their kneecaps, they can’t be sculptors or because they’re wearing long straight extensions, they can’t be chemists. I am so tired of hearing stuff like that, but I’ll save that for a different post entirely. Phew.

Anyway, don’t get me wrong, people are entitled to their own opinions. HOWEVER, if those opinions are perpetuating a construct made to repress and persecute female sexuality, then those opinions need to be reexamined.