With impeccable timing and a palpable excitement, Kamala Harris has become the replacement candidate for the Democratic party after Joe Biden so graciously bowed out.

It was something pundits speculated, the people begged for, and seemed to be the only logical move for the Dem party after a number of events that began to make us all question Biden’s ability to aptly fulfill the strenuous duties of Commander in Chief. The abysmal debate last month was the proverbial nail in the coffin that left too much uncertainty and plainly doubt. The reality of winning in November felt like a distant possibility and voting felt like a choice between fascism and a candidate that seemed to be on the verge of collapse but a necessary alternative. All the election boiled down to was preserving democracy and not allowing a criminal to institute unfathomable restrictions on human rights and cruel policies. The fire that burned in the last election was extinguished and replaced with extreme desperation. And then Joe made the announcement we were all hoping he would make. He eloquently put in his resignation letter and dropped the mic. Then immediately endorsed Harris as the nominee.

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Welp if you saw the debate a few weeks ago, you may, like me, be feeling a special sort of all encompassing doom and gloom gripping your chest. A crushing concern.

Over these past few weeks I have been grappling with what I watched. I’ve been trying to put into words the pure dismay, disbelief, and discouragement I felt during and after watching what felt like two ornery grandfathers during the holidays trying to convince their grandkids that they can still fully participate in strenuous family games. The one part where they just started talking about their golf handicaps had me in a state of pure shock. I kept asking Ian, “Is this real? Is this really happening?” To which he replied with a firm and resolute, “Yes.”

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As protesting continues with increasing tension but steadfast resolve, it’s interesting to see how the country has been reacting. There’s also a confusing idea around protest being democratic but only the type of protest that doesn’t exist- a non disruptive one. It’s been clear (for a long, long time) while the government says protesting is a part of a healthy democracy they really don’t mean it.

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Taking this trip at this particular time felt special because as a black person, I truly believe it’s important to enjoy rest/relaxation and just revitalize during Black History Month. I’ve written about this before, but the Nap Ministry has so much on the importance of rest as resistance. Not working, seeing the beauty of the world, and getting to learn and experience different perspectives was the best way to celebrate.

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It’s the last day of the year and what a year this has been collectively, individually, emotionally, spiritually, physically. I personally have learned a lot about myself this year. I have undergone a number of changes and gone through revelations that continuously shape and humble me.

This year for me had its number of disappointments, challenges, issues I’ve worked through that have been surprising and unsurprising. I’m excited to apply all I’ve learned to the future and finally understand what it means to give myself grace. What a game changer. I will be celebrating what’s to come. The unknown. The endless possibilities that will manifest to create my future, but not without acknowledging that so many people have lost their futures this year in a war that is devastating an entire population of people. The Israeli government is continuing its siege on Palestinians. Everyone in Gaza is living through a horror that is not only reprehensible but unconscionable considering the number of CHILDREN’S lives lost. This country has failed us and humanity, especially considering the genocides that are happening all over the world that get little to no news coverage.

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