It’s the last day of the year and what a year this has been collectively, individually, emotionally, spiritually, physically. I personally have learned a lot about myself this year. I have undergone a number of changes and gone through revelations that continuously shape and humble me.
This year for me had its number of disappointments, challenges, issues I’ve worked through that have been surprising and unsurprising. I’m excited to apply all I’ve learned to the future and finally understand what it means to give myself grace. What a game changer. I will be celebrating what’s to come. The unknown. The endless possibilities that will manifest to create my future, but not without acknowledging that so many people have lost their futures this year in a war that is devastating an entire population of people. The Israeli government is continuing its siege on Palestinians. Everyone in Gaza is living through a horror that is not only reprehensible but unconscionable considering the number of CHILDREN’S lives lost. This country has failed us and humanity, especially considering the genocides that are happening all over the world that get little to no news coverage.
This is a breaking point in society where the people are finding it impossible to understand how genocide can be supported when millions of protestors around the world are begging it to stop. What do we do when no one is listening? I can’t stop thinking about that. I can’t stop thinking about how helpless I feel as an individual when the government is refusing to listen to its citizens, is magically giving exorbitant amounts of money and resources to fund genocide all while insisting upon collecting from struggling student loan holders, barely acknowledging inflation and the growing class disparities, ignoring very real concerns we all have for drastically escalating effects of climate change, and strange radical religious overtones affecting our court systems that are putting birthing people and children in danger.
I wanted this to be a positive post about how in all of this, we are still here and still want more for ourselves and each other. I wanted to dwell on the fact that even with all of this going on there are still relationships to cherish and experiences to be excited about, but reality is what it is. There’s no escaping. We are living through a large amount trauma without there being any formal acknowledgement of that and are expected to perform and operate as if the world doesn’t feel like it’s collapsing. It’s hard to find a balance between letting everything eat you away and finding moments of joy and happiness where you can (while feeling pangs of guilt for relishing in those moments). It’s hard to reconcile balance, but no one is receiving an award for being the most miserable. That doesn’t mean pretending the ails of the world don’t exist, it just means allowing yourself some rest and a modicum of peace amidst the chaos.
This brings me to one of the things I want to focus on more in 2024, which is the word I was using repeatedly without even realizing it: BALANCE.
Finding a balance with the social media I consume. I’ve been finding myself spending quite a bit of time online- reading people’s opinions about a given situation, listening to outrageous ‘story times,’ seeing celebrities get berated and beefing with each other, eye guzzling memes, and the usual aimless doom-scroll. It’s so easy to find yourself being startled awake with your eyes open after realizing you’ve seen 200 tiktoks in the last 30 minutes. Not that I would know, but I’ve heard it happens…Anyway, I want to limit my screen time and experience the world without the context of strangers or the lens of influencers. I’ll def be doing some form of social media detoxing in the near future.
I want to balance my mind and body. Focus more on what I physically consume and listening to my body and mind more. Getting more in touch with the inner me. Maybe take myself out on a few dates! I will refrain from having full on conversations with myself in public or this journey would be cut extremely short.
I want to balance my time more and spend it doing things I truly enjoy, like writing and doing little artsy projects. I love watching TV and playing my vid games, but I want to spend more time internally, releasing thoughts and emotions into physical form. I want to do some painting and drawing even though I am markedly terrible at both.
So, in conclusion, the world is a hot mess and we’re all trying to figure out how to get through daily life without losing our minds, but there can be tremendous hope in the future. Maybe not the immediate one, but we, none of us, know what will happen. It doesn’t hurt to be kinder and gentler with yourselves and each other. Maybe radical kindness will be the revolution we all need. Life is complicated, has myriad layers, doesn’t always make sense, and there is no perfect one that exists. Except maybe koalas. They just seem so chill.
Hope everyone has a safe and lovely NYE. May 2024 be full of everything you need.