The super blood fantastical gargantuan moon thing is tonight and it sounds like it’s going to be a doozy. It’s suppose to mark change, a new beginning. Man, it’s funny how natural events like this can inspire things that can literally be done at any moment. It’s like the New Year where everyone freaks out about becoming a better human or whatever. Eh. It’s still exciting times and I hope miraculous change does occur tonight.

Who knows, maybe we’ll wake up tomorrow and the great round luminous bulbous moon will open Trump’s eyes and he’ll be all like, “JK guys, I don’t really wanna be president. I’m going to go back and roll around in my money vault in China and comb my toupees with brushes made of solid gold.” Then, all the other Republican candidates will follow suit, Jeb will move to Mexico where the government will make him go through a 100 year naturalization process, Ben Carson will crawl back into whatever dank hole he crawled out of to perform surgery on (we can all strongly assume) maniacs and never speak about politics ever again, and Chris Christie will reunite with his crime family to continue his legacy of laughing in the face of democracy and bullying politicians to get his way. And the other candidates, whoever they are will fade into oblivion, or maybe it’s more like settle back into oblivion….

It would also be nice if the wonderful mystical majestic moon of Oz could get Congress to cool it with telling women what to do with their bodies. That would be so righteous.

Lastly, oh supercalifragilisticexpialidocious moon, please grant us the ability to treat each other as humans no matter where we come from because this world is certainly big enough for us all to share and mass movements of people have been happening throughout human history so why don’t we take a chill pill and figure stuff out instead of rearing the ugly head of a beast called xenophobia (breath)… Also, no more guns, please.

Here’s to the moon, y’all!