"You" Have Got to Be Kidding Me

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Snuggled in with my boo, ready to get started on the new season of You, I was excited. The last season was such a roller coaster of emotion. The charismatic sociopath, Joe Goldberg, captured the hearts and minds of a nation. Memes were made. Adamant professions of longing for Joe’s loving homicidal inclinations.
"I wish someone would love me that much.“
"He’s just making sure she’s achieving her dreams.“
"No matter what, he always texts back.“
He was crazy, sure, but, he had his reasons. The betterment of his woman, Guinevere Beck.

We all wondered and watched in amazement how a woman living in NYC could be so trusting and adverse to curtains. Beck was cringey - her words, her problems, all of it seemed so trite, but we still wanted her to discover his secret. Yes Beck, he IS too perfect. It was great TV.

So to my dismay, this new season was far from the titillating thriller I’d grown to know and love. LOVE. Oh Love. Where do I begin? Her tragically lost "soulmate" who’s death now seems suspect. Coping with feelings in the form of baked goods and murder. Using her brother as an excuse for literally everything, though this was strangely one of the few things I actually liked about her. She’s fiercely loyal. Her brother, FORTY. Yes, his name is Forty like the size of the Old E you can get at the bodega. He was destined for sadness. Can you imagine? Your parents are like, your name is Love so soft and sweet and your name is I dunno, Forty. I honestly never got used to it. - Also literally JUST realized that’s suppose to be a tennis reference thanks to this episode rundown on Vulture.

There were a few things on the show that I really wanna dive into that made my eyebrows furrow in disbelief and chuckle.

Joe’s Past
We are taken back into the makings of a murderer. His childhood is explored, showing the tumultuous home he grew up in , including the chaotic energy of his mother and the trove of sleazeballs she dated. I almost felt as if we as an audience were expected to forgive him for the havoc he wreaked on Beck’s life and understand his intentions were coming from a place of boyhood yearning for comfort and stability, which sure okay, but he’s still stalking and killing women.

Loving Books as a Personality Trait
Yes, we all know how much Joe enjoys a good topical book depending on his dark mood of the week. For some reason, all of LA is enamored by the fact he actually likes reading. Joe is definitely a unique person, but his predilection for Dostoevsky doesn’t make him quirky. It makes him someone who likes books. The scene where the manager of Anavrin is over the moon that Joe made a book sound interesting is comical and hopefully, it was intended to be. It also seems like his book interest is somehow linked to his serial killer-ness, which c’monnnn.

WT(actual)F Candace?
In the very first episode, Candace meets Joe for coffee! The Joe who thought he killed her BUT buried her ALIVE instead. She’s cool, calm, and collected as she explains her diabolical plan to- gasp- "make him pay," which means…? We will never know because Love finished the job Joe started and offs her. Candace’s storyline is so confusing because she meets Forty at SXSW, gets invited to his parents’ nuptial renewal which is a whole clusterfuck within itself, but then she disappears for a majority of the show. I thought, maybe Forty killed her at some point? That would’ve been more interesting instead of what really happened. Her presence was so inconsequential even though Joe was FREAKING out when he saw her. She didn’t do ANYTHING. Okay, so, again, she infiltrates Joe’s life through the desperate puppy that is Forty by telling him she was a producer and wanted to get Beck’s book made into a movie. How he didn’t IMMEDIATELY Google her to instantly find out she is not who she says she is was just one of the many confusing elements swirling around Candace-ahem- Amy Adam. Yes, she chose Amy Adam as her cover name. SEE! Confusing. Amy, what was you thinkin, girl?! When she finally does get around to telling Love and Forty the truth it’s too late. If only she led with the truth, she might still be alive or Love would have killed her earlier. Either way, I was really hoping Candace would make a much bigger kerfuffle of Joe’s plans, but she just kind of poked at the situation with a stick and then got all murdered.

Love (Actually)
So, we learn in the last few episodes that Love is actually cuckoo bananas bonkers and has killed before in the past, making her ostensibly, Joe’s perfect match. We find out that when her and her brother were teens, she drugged Forty and killed his gross, rapist babysitter who had been sleeping with him. Love explains she did it to protect him. Yes, much like Joe killed some dude (his father?!) that was abusing him and his mother. That flashback story line was also confusing because it wasn’t explicit whether or not the man he killed was his father or not? I guess I’ll never know. Anyway, Love goes on this whole diatribe about understanding Joe and KNOWING HE KILLED BEFORE AND ABOUT HIS HUMAN HAMSTER CUBE! She was disappointed he didn’t open up to her about his…. predilections but she didn’t just tell him flat out she knew his past. Instead, she pondered their similarities from afar and subtly tried to coax it out of him with semi-violent sex and baked goods, but not before killing the one person on the show who should have been off limits, Delilah. Joe was going to let her go, but let’s be real Delilah absolutely would have outed him and Love just couldn’t let her ruin the "woof“ they had so Love does what she does best, kills to protect. Then we find out it’s because she’s pregnant and now I’m scared there’s gonna be a whole Bonnie & Clyde & Baby season 3.

Joe’s Wandering Eye
Surprisingly, he has a kind of interesting relationship with Delilah. He protected her sister from that monster, Henderson, and D and him wind up hooking up. It’s just a little surprising considering his obsession usually consumes him, but this season he seemed a lot more chill. I could understand why he went for Delilah because Love broke it off with him and was dating a mountain named Milo, but at the end of the show when he starts getting all Joe again with his next door neighbor I almost fell off the couch. I thought, surely after the disaster that transpired with Delilah getting caught in the cross hairs leaving my girl Ellie all alone and his tearful commune with himself via a very odd scene with Love’s best friend, Gabe, who did reiki?
Gaddammit Joe, you will never change OR GET CAUGHT will you?!

All in all, I much prefer season 1, but I see YOU season 2- SEE WHAT I DID THERE?! I mean I’ll obvs be watching season 3, but hoping there’s much more excitement and less long-winded, introspective soliloquies.

Good Job, Netflix. Good Job.

It was a Tuesday night. It was unexpected. It was magical. I fell in love.

We’ve all been in a love/hate relationship with Netflix lately, idly waiting each week for something, anything interesting to be added to the dwindling options. Those nights where the only solace was to binge watch Plant Earth for the millionth time has finally come to pass and we can now all relish in the new and returning Netflix originals. 

The Characters is such an amazing concept for a show, allowing viewers to really delve into the minds of these select comedians as they navigate the world of TV- sketching their butts off to create a half-hour long vignette of comedy to make you laugh ‘til it hurts… or question your existence. Ok, there was one episode that made me wonder if the entire world was playing a joke on me, because it was so unapologetically offensive. I couldn’t make it through the entire thing and am still in shock. So, if anyone has finished the episode with Henry Zebrowski, please tell me there was a point to being incredibly confused for 20 min. Anyway, back to the light of my life.

It was a random Tuesday night and my friends were basically like, sit down you need to watch this, and that’s when I saw an angel. Natasha Rothwell is an incredible writer, actress, comedian, goddess, who used to work on SNL and 30 Rock. I haven’t had the pleasure of knowing about her for long. I know. For shame. Anyway, can’t wait to stalk her on social media read everything she’s done and watch everything she’s been in. As a woman and person of color, seeing the way Rothwell wrote all of the characters was unbelievably refreshing. Autonomy goes a long way when it comes to writing characters who are charming, relatable, and it shows in this episode. 

It starts off with Rothwell finishing up a comedy set, sitting in the dressing room, and receiving a text from an excited friend who wants to celebrate. At first, Rothwell’s character replies as a responsible adult, letting her friend know that she can’t get too wild because she has jury duty the next day. The friend pleads the deathly words you may recognize, “Just one drink.” Rothwell finally agrees and the next scene is Rothwell asleep in her bed cradling a carton of wine that says, “Basic Bitch.” SOLD. 

It just gets better and better from there, really. 

Another amazing moment was the introduction of a homeless character terrorizing people on the subway by threatening them with spoilers for shows unless they were given money. Lots of people were forking over plenty of dollar bills to be spared hearing the most recent events of the Game of Thrones series. 

Finally, the most epic event was the Basic Bitch song, which I have been playing on repeat a disturbing amount of times, especially considering how much time it takes to queue it up, rewind and play. WORTH IT.

What I’m saying is, if you haven’t watched The Characters, namely Natasha Rothwell’s episode, go do it and remind yourself why you’re blowing that whopping $84 a year. 

I’ll just be over here spooning with junk food and marathoning Doctor Who.

Happy Saturday!

Um.

Why does it take Twin Peaks a good 30 min. to come on?! Also, Netflix seems to be having a love/hate relationship with it. I’m beginning to understand Netflix’s sentiments. I’m at a loss of words for the events unfolding in front of me.