I wrote this originally months ago, back in September. Then I took it down because it felt like the wrong time to share, but what does time/timing even mean anymore? It felt necessary to express how impactful, moving, and refreshing your art has been to me personally in lieu of the recent belabored awards season criticism. It’s not a fresh new take that you deserve every single award out there, but even beyond awards I hope you know your art changes people.
Dear Michaela,
I wanted to write this in an email just for your eyes, so I can more intimately explain to you just how much your readiness to be vulnerable, your impeccable word, and your dedication to the craft resonates with me. But I couldn’t find contact info and after doing more than a few minutes of Google searching, it felt weird af so I thought yes, time to refrain. Then I thought about sending an Instagram message a la I May Destroy You style, but sending it to MichaelaCoel12234 and hoping for the best didn’t seem like a super great idea, so instead I am here writing an open letter.
I was trying to avoid it because it feels like this weird grandstanding I absolutely wanted to avoid, but I think the truth is I was also worried about sounding lame which is my own stupid ego getting in the way. After grappling with those dumb dumb feelings, I realized sharing how much I admire you is important because I don’t want it to be something I burrow away to myself, especially in the past year of such painful loss. It’s vital that people are aware of how much they’ve impacted you now. Time is so precious. Plus, I would not-so-secretly love to normalize admiration posts. With that said, I’m going to put my ego away and gush because I truly hope you do read it.
Reading about a writer’s process and journey is one of my favorite things (that Vulture article was phenomenal). After reading how you locked yourself away in a cabin and wrote all of I May Destroy You, I was brought to tears thinking about the dedication and the emotional turmoil you willingly succumbed to in the name of bringing the world something that wasn’t just an incredible testament to resilience but a deeper look into the complexities of what that means, how it’s accomplished, and what you gain/lose along the winding path to get there. The various stories being told throughout that series always feel so poignant and so bold, but also so delicate and introspective. It’s a declaration within a space where it’s more comfortable to have these clearly spelled out dichotomies of good/evil or happy/sad. Your show turns that all on its head, exposing true reality that breeds nuance and intense complications. I watched Arabella, completely intoxicated by her. How she maneuvers through pain, navigates failed relationships, fiercely preservers all with an air of confidence wrapped in insecurity, demanding in some ways but so excruciatingly reserved in others. Her friends, Terry and Kwame were equally enticing and I love that we got to see them develop beyond just their friendship with Arabella, but got to witness their own unique experiences showing how they deal with adversity, where they fit in, and who they are and want to be. I finished the series not knowing how to feel. Not because of the cleverly multifaceted ending, but because it meant I wouldn’t be seeing what happens to these characters afterward. I was grateful for the ending artfully capturing so many different types of scenarios that might be considered closure, and how ultimately it was Arabella who decided her own terms in various ways. The characters, the costuming, the MUSIC, the cinematography. Everything about it made me so proud to watch those brown faces emote such ranges of emotion every week to the beat of artists I know and admire, and even more exciting ones I didn’t know. You sparked that fire within me to create something, to share something, and to take a risk on myself. Not only was the show an inspiration, but how you even got the show produced and on the air. They way you fought for yourself and what you knew you needed and were worthy of. How you didn’t back down to Netflix for Chewing Gum S.3 (a series I also dearly loved) and negotiated your own terms for How I May Destroy You. I love that. I want to thank you for your openness, sharing your unyielding talent, and reinvigorating my hopes and dreams. I hope this wasn’t terribly lame. I appreciate you even reading. I hope you’re taking the time and space you need during this absolutely insane moment. Thank you again and I look forward to whatever’s next if anything and if not just appreciate all you’ve given the world and me. I am so grateful.
Your adoring fan,
Chris
ALSO, YOU’RE JUST SO GD GORGEOUS. MY GAWD.