I have so many scattered thoughts on the tragedy that happened last week resulting in the death of 8 people in Atlanta and the most recent shooting that took the lives of 10 in Boulder. I’m still processing the way this country shamelessly coddles white men with guns. I’m still processing a lot of things (it seems like maybe it’s an endless endeavor), as I’m sure a lot of us are as we live through this raging pandemic and continue to be confronted by the destructiveness of white supremacy, the deadliness of gun violence, and the climbing Covid death toll.
Break Time!
I’ve been writing pretty frequently these past few months dredging up and explaining feelings of trauma, hopelessness, and trying to find the light at the end of this seemingly endless tunnel. I’m still searching, but for now I need to take a step back from updating and focus on things that will actually make me happy, plus work on more lucrative creative projects. I’ve also been using my blog as a crutch of sorts to avoid pitching/getting published. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and need to actually focus on it. A break feels like a realistic step in the direction I want to go. I love writing. I love putting concepts onto paper in ways that I hope are enjoyable and understandable. It’s something I have always genuinely relished, but following politics closely these past several years, especially these last few months, has been extraordinarily draining.
Conservative Conundrums: Candace Owens & Ali Alexander
There was a distinct rise in the number of men of color who voted for Trump last election, and it is an upsetting reality that they felt Trump was representative of their wants and needs. I’ve talked about this with friends and family, read articles, and still cannot fully grasp how any person of color can vote so wholly against their interest and for a white supremacist or someone who’s admirable of white supremacist ideals. Maybe the term “not fully grasp” isn’t entirely accurate. I’m more astonished by the reasoning behind voting for him and, plainly, curious.
Conservatives that are outside of the typical straight white Christian male trope have been on the rise in the last several years. From personalities like Milo Yiannopolis to Diamond & Silk, it has been nothing short of a hellish mystery how these people were drawn to such a dark side of politics. It’s a mysetery that isn’t so mysterious if the main goal is money and/or attention, but it is an abysmal characterization that one could so completely discard morals for money. Then I think about corporations and how humanity is disregarded everyday in exchange for billions of dollars and a bit of my anger with them gets redirected to a society that often rewards profit over safety and scoffs at altruism. I start spiraling thinking of the many facets of greed that have gotten us to where we are today, but I digress.
Fiction Friday: Ronique & Frankie
Painting was something she loved. She loved envisioning what she would paint even more. Holding her paintbrush she could stare at the blank canvas for hours just imagining how she would transform it into something profound or silly or deranged. Ronique Rain had been known to provoke emotions people didn’t want to confront or even want to exist. Often viewers were brought to tears by her work, feeling something stir within them they thought long gone. It was those moments that drove Ronique to create and kept her curiosity heightened about the complexities of emotion, memory, and hidden inclinations. Feelings were forever a puzzle she would try to solve with shapes and paint strokes. Ronique sometimes felt like a detective when she worked. Each color a suspect, each completed piece a collection of their stories. The crime, the viewers’ thoughts she intentionally unearthed.
Impeachment Day 2: It Could've Been So Much Worse
Today, there were hours of even more presentations that painstakingly showed just how close the lawmakers in the Capitol were to being confronted by insurrectionists and most likely grisly danger. Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi the targets of these violent rioters ransacking the Capitol at Trump’s behest. We saw never before seen footage of the secret service escorting Pence and his family out of the chamber.
It’s truly remarkable to see the amount of evidence gathered and just how close some of these senators came to this bloodthirsty horde. The news outlets have been saying this frequently along with many other journalists and pundits, that this could have been so much worse. I’ve been seeing a lot of people online also echo the fact they were unaware of just how brutal the attack was even after knowing there were deaths. I think this is because the footage we’ve seen until this point seemed disjointed. We didn’t really understand how close these roving gangs were to actual lawmakers. The geography was unclear so the threat of danger didn’t seem as imminent. It also didn’t help how Republicans and conservative media cravenly described rioters as Americans who were just upset. There was also the constant imagery of amusing characters like the guy in the fur hat and another dressed as Uncle Sam who’s appearances diminished the gravity of the situation. After the 6th, the focus was drawn to the individuals who were getting arrested and booted off planes instead of the very real damage those people did to not just the actual Capitol but to the psyches and bodies of lawmakers and officers.