James Baldwin is my favorite writer. His work is what inspired me to write and opened my mind to the types of narratives and stories I could express as a black person living in America that were complex, poignant, and embodied a keen perspective. His book, Another Country, was the first book I read on my own that wasn’t on a reading list or recommended for kids my age when I was in middle school. It was a book laying around the house and I picked it up because it looked old and had an interesting title. He wrote that book in the 60s but it was set in the 50s. It was an era whose culture I had little to no knowledge about at the time, other than it is the beginning of the civil rights era and that it was overtly racist. I’d read about protests, sit-ins, and marches, but this book expounded on the human experience within that world of civil unrest and the relationships at the time. It was the most raw representation of feelings, wants, and desires I’d read in a book. It changed me. I could write about why he’s still one of my favorite public figures to this day, but his words are what I want to focus on. His words and others that have been… impactful recently.

One quote of his I’ve been thinking about frequently is, "To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time." The rage certainly has levels, but I find the levels are heightening more and more recently and staying consistent. Being black in this country not only means you’re in a rage all the time, but it also means you have to hide that rage or suppress it or you’ll lose your gd mind. There are moments of joy and moments of love where we let go of this constant oppression, which we have been successfully doing for hundreds of years in order to move forward. We’ve gotten to a breaking point, though where the current system hasn’t been enough for a long time and are demanding change. The rage is catching and spreading beyond black people, which is just plain amazing to see.

There’s another quote that’s resonated with me these last few days, as I’ve been processing the current events. It’s from W.E.B. DuBois’ The Souls of Black Folk, "…this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his two-ness,—an American, a Negro... two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.“ This quote, I think, sums up how being black intrinsically gives us this complex perception of the country and allows us to see the reality but also its potential, which makes it even more frustrating to constantly defend the need for real equality. Though, our ability to see these sides of America isn’t some untouchable, unattainable comprehension. It just comes more easily due to our history and us being forever at odds with white supremacy. There’s so much to this quote and I love that even to this day people continue to unpack it.

This brings me to another quote I’ve been seeing make the rounds on the internet that hasn’t been so inspiring, "I understand that I will never understand. However, I stand with you.“ Something like that. I might have added the with you part, but whatever. I really, really dislike this quote. I don’t know who wrote it, but it’s terrible. There is something condescending and arrogant about it that makes the last part completely disingenuous. I think I understand what it’s getting at. White people are saying they’ll never understand what it’s like to walk in the shoes of black people, but they will still stand with us in the fight for equality. Okay. The quote itself though doesn’t say that. It’s too simplistic and rudimentary. The part that gets under my skin the most is, I will never understand as if writing off our pain is acceptable. As if not being able to understand or try to understand where these feelings are coming from is okay. It’s not. Yes, most white people may never truly understand what it’s like to worry about the police flooding their neighborhoods, be terrified about being pulled over, wonder what to wear when they go jogging so they don’t attract attention. That deeprooted worry, that fear can’t be understood if you don’t talk to black people, read our stories, empathize with our struggle to exist freely and peacefully.

I’m not sure if that quote is supposed to make me, as a black woman, feel supported, but it just screams disconnect. Instead, the quote should just say, I stand with you. That’s it. Simple, short, and sweet. I stand with you. All those other words about never understanding just aren’t necessary. If anyone feels they’ll "never“ understand, then do some reading and try. Empathy isn’t reserved for certain people. It can be practiced and developed. That’s apart of the work to be a better ally. Trying to understand is exactly what an ally should be doing, not throwing their hands in the air and giving up on evolving their perspectives. I get it’s probably more likely it just doesn’t translate great than people not wanting to do the work, but I mentioned before how careful we have to be with expression on the internet. Allyship is a humongous part of how change is going to occur. I’m thinking about writing about how to be an ally, but not sure if there’s a saturation of that going around. Let me know?

I really hope that quote stops circulating…