I’m not sure if it’s something in the air or that I have been actually listening to people more closely recently, but witnessing this extremely uncomfortable influx of insulting notions about women has made me want to shut my ears off indefinitely. In all these years of being a woman I have never felt so threatened as I have currently by misguided ideas of gender and the devastating reality that this patriarchal society shows no sign of changing. In this day and age being a woman requires an amount of patience and a high threshold for ignorance. So many discussions about womanhood with my dude friends wind up with me getting just short of belligerent because someone always brings up these gender-specific emotions women “inherently” feel because we have ovaries. Whenever I hear sweeping generalizations about anyone it infuriates me. Are men not allowed to feel emotional? Not according to a vast amount of people who believe staunchly in the fallacy of femininity and masculinity. Let me list what I’ve heard over these past few weeks that has nearly driven me mad. Oh the vapours!

1. Woman are loyal (LIKE DOGS) when they love someone, so they allow for lots of nonsense (PERPETRATED BY MEN).

2. If Wonder Woman were a man she wouldn’t need the lasso of truth, she would just pummel the criminal into submission. BECAUSE WONDER WOMAN IS SO WEAK AND FRAIL. IDIOT.

3. What are men suppose to do when p*ssy is being thrown at them? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS IN FRONT OF ME LIKE IT’S OK TO REFER TO WOMEN BY A HEATHENISTIC TERM FOR GENETALIA!!!

4. When you look at biology, when you look at the natural world, the roles of a male and a female in society and in other animals, the male typically is the dominant role. The female, it’s not antithesis, or it’s not competing, it’s a complimentary role. ERICK ERICKSON, YOU NINNY. 

5. Women don’t know what they do to men. AS IF WE’RE ALL VIXENS, ANXIOUSLY AWAITING TO SEDUCE ALL OF THE MEN. ALL OF THEM.

There are many more unsettling words about women I’ve heard, but I cannot remember them all. I assume it’s because at the root, all I want to do is forget I heard any of it. I want to forget men in the street who feverishly cat call women and then yell obscenities at them because somehow, “Woo! That ass is tight,” didn’t induce warm, romantic feelings or sweep them off of their “sexy ass” feet.  I want to forget these guys in bars who have this intrusive entitlement issue where they feel it’s ok to touch a lady without any kind of permission. I understand we’re all drunk, but if a lady says, “Do not touch me, please,” and you still touch her; you sir, are an asshole. This ends my rant. And now some hilarious words by Louis C.K.