The fact that I feel like I have to continuously defend my blackness is astounding and shocking on so many levels. Like, where is this coming from?! But also, who are these people?! In this day and age of #blackgirlmagic and a refreshing resurgence of unapologetic, indelible pride in being brown, I am TIRED of hearing people tell me I’m “different” or explain things to me about the black experience as if I’m some ignorant bystander. Regardless of how you think I interpret race, I am still a black woman existing in a society that is constantly telling me I’ll never be good enough, scoffing at any semblance of confidence, and making snap judgments about my character.
This assertion that I don’t understand what’s happening in my own community seems like another type of prejudice masked in this realm of pseudo-political correctness and saccharine empathy. This strange haughtiness of liberals who believe they “get it” and truly understand all of the issues plaguing the black community more than the black people experiencing it is just plain ridiculous.
It’s infuriating and it’s exhausting, but like, in the end - I’m not here for you. I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I don’t need to defend my blackness, because, regardless of whether or not whoever thinks I’m “black enough,” I will and forever be black. I’m not in a “unique” situation. I’m not “above” criticism or the white gaze. I haven’t ascended to the plane of that fallacy “beyond race.” I’m still pissed as hell about that stupid Buzzfeed video. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe this notion is so upsetting, because I can still remember being called “oreo” in high school and screaming on the inside because it incensed me that people’s perception of blackness was so limited. It hurt me that people felt that who I was didn’t have a place in the narrative of black culture, like I was some pariah. It angers me because I thought the older we got the wiser we got and that meant that I no longer had to explain that blackness comes in all different shades and that inferring otherwise is no better than haplessly stereotyping. But again, I’m not here for them. I’m not here for this oversimplified bs and I’m not here for that self-righteousness. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
