I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I fit into society and how I can contribute to solutions often feeling depleted and defeated, hence that break. I’m definitely feeling much less gloom and doom than I did before, so I’ll count that as a win. I am also still pitching, but it’s a slow going process and I missed writing in my blog! Writing here has been a way for me to purge my feelings in a way that feels strangely cathartic. Maybe it’s the hope that one person might take comfort in knowing they’re not alone in feeling frustrated and confused, angry and exhausted at the state of the world. Maybe it’s that pointed release of emotion. Maybe it’s feeling like writing here itches that productivity scratch (f capitalism and that brain washing nonsense). I don’t know, but whatever it is I’ve found peace with it, so I’m leaning into what brings me at least a sliver of sanity.

I have so many scattered thoughts on the tragedy that happened last week resulting in the death of 8 people in Atlanta and the most recent shooting that took the lives of 10 in Boulder. I’m still processing the way this country shamelessly coddles white men with guns. I’m still processing a lot of things (it seems like maybe it’s an endless endeavor), as I’m sure a lot of us are as we live through this raging pandemic and continue to be confronted by the destructiveness of white supremacy, the deadliness of gun violence, and the climbing Covid death toll.

It’s extremely insane that we keep having this same discourse after men with guns open fire on other human beings, because they are feeling rejected, depressed, hopeless, and/or angry. Can you imagine the siege on this country if people of color took to expressing their frustration by committing mass murder? It’s even more infuriating to think about how the knee-jerk reaction is to humanize these people who have no capability of humanizing others. What is the point of knowing that someone who murdered people, “HAD A BAD DAY?!” What exactly is the public supposed to do with that information? Are we supposed to accept that as an excuse and reconsider blame? It’s appalling. It’s upsetting. It’s undeniably a form of white supremacy that removes blame from the perpetrator and attempts to place blame on the non-white victims FOR EXISTING. There’s a lot to unpack from the past events, so I’m going to attempt to organize points that have sparked much needed conversations.

It’s a Hate Crime
Within 24 hours of the news breaking about the domestic attack in Atlanta resulting in the death of 8 human beings 6 of whom were Asian women, there were unsurprisingly so many questions unanswered. It’s become a trend now to just start saying things when something terrible happens instead of waiting for facts. This clumsy “breaking news” resulted in a sex work narrative that was oddly being pushed, confusion around exactly who was involved, and why. Then when we started getting a better understanding of what happened the captain of the Cherokee Country PD immediately sought to vindicate the suspect! Now we are supposed to believe the person who took the lives of 8 people about him not being racially motivated?! Can we really trust that coming from someone who thought the way to solve his problems was with murder? He stated he killed because he was sexually tempted and wanted to eliminate the threat. So, he went to multiple massage parlors that employed mostly Asian women. Lest we not forget that. There are so many awful stereotypes over-sexualizing Asian women and reducing them to objects, which is exactly what this maniac did. He went to those places for a reason. In his mind these women were a symbol of unattainable sexuality. These women who were mothers and sisters and family and friends and just plain people who should not have died. These 8 people who were minding their own business and going about their day were ripped from this world because a monster was unable to figure himself out. There is no gray area. He specifically went to those massage parlors and he should absolutely be charged with a hate crime.

Where TF Are Federal Gun Regulations
The aversion to address gun violence with feasible solutions is so telling of where priorities really lie with Federal government. When Sandy Hook happened and there wasn’t a serious discussion about gun reform on a national scale, that’s when I knew this country had no real intention to ever change anything. Since then there have been so many mass shootings involving high powered rifles that were easily accessible with no background checks. State governments have been doing their part to mitigate gun violence, but not having federal guidance means not every state needs to have strict(er) gun laws. I’m not saying nobody should have a gun ever, but I am saying we need to think about the safety of society when it’s perfectly legal to go out on a whim to buy a gun and murder people THE SAME DAY.

We Must All Dismantle White Supremacy
The only way we’re going to dismantle white supremacy is all together. Not just our communities, but all of us as Americans. All of us as people. We know by now how detrimental white supremacy is to not only communities of color but cripples development of this entire country. It’s so refreshing seeing more and more people waking up to the foolishness of these structures that have been in place for centuries that aren’t benefitting everyone, just the 1%. My hope is back that we are becoming a better society, but I wish we could get there with many less lives lost.

After all that has been happening last year and this year with the uptick in violence towards the Asian community there is absolutely a necessity to stop and make sure we are all cognizant of that violence and understand Asian American history in this country. Asia is such a huge label that encompasses so many distinct and rich cultures. As a whole, though Asian American history is steeped in erasure. This country has a deep issue with facing its history not just with slavery but countless atrocities done to people of color. The country is able to do this by encouraging unfair stereotypes/fallacies that contribute to the reduction of humanity as stereotypes are apt to do. All people who know how effed the system is understand this type of dehumanization is what makes mistreatment and inequality so easy to justify or ignore. As someone who is dearly committed to the freedom of all people, I wholeheartedly, passionately, and ferociously support the Asian community always.
Here is a link to an article that outlines a host of organizations and ways to directly support the families of the Atlanta tragedy.