I was going to write about some shiny new New Year’s resolutions, but real talk, I cannot think of any right now. New Year’s resolutions are tough because usually they’re these grand declarations of what you expect to accomplish in the next year can feel overwhelming, daunting, or just plain scary. They could be these things that hover over you like a cloud, suffocating and crippling. At least, that’s how I’ve seen them in the past. This next year, I’m trying to do something different with resolutions and make ones I can readily incorporate into my lifestyle rather than give myself unrealistic timeframes and deadlines. So, I have a framework of thinking about them squared away. I just need to figure out what they actually are…

A lot has happened this year, and I like to think it’s because I set an intention for myself. Not a resolution per se, because I never called it that, but I guess those words can be synonymous. My intention this year was to be more decisive. I want to sum up last year with a few words. I learned a lot about myself. And now a lot more words-
I made it a point to do more self reflecting starting last year, finding a therapist and being more intentional about my personal growth. I tried Betterhelp which I cannot say enough terrible things about for the experience I had. With the high-volume monetization of mental health services comes with it an abundance of risk. I found myself paired with someone who simply should not have been my therapist (or maybe not even a therapist at all) and had a number of sessions left me feeling confused, irritated, and hopeless. I won’t get into the messy details of why it was a poor match- unless you want me to?? let me know in the comments- but I will say, I could understand if someone went through something similar why they might be skeptical of therapy afterward. In the beginning of 2022 I found a new therapist, but that didn’t work out either. However, she did help me discover some very important aspects of my childhood which affect me today. I was starting to doubt I would ever find someone I could consistently talk to until I found my most recent therapist. It is extremely true what they say about finding someone who works for you. It’s not a simple process, but extremely worth it. For me, it was also helpful having a finite number of sessions and focusing on a few goals. I realize I work better that way.

This year was certainly a year of self-discovery. I stopped making excuses for my emotions or doing that fun thing when I would just flat out ignore them. I started to seriously and honestly think about my overall happiness. These revelations led me to make some extremely hard decisions I’ll probably be working through well into the new year. I started a new job, which was exciting and forced me out of my comfort zone. I moved back to Brooklyn to an area and apartment I’m loving more and more each day. This brings me to setting a new intention for 2023.

This new year, I want to focus on happiness, relationships, and traveling. I don’t know to what extent or in what capacity, but I figure that’s a start, right?? Maybe I’ll writing another post if I finally figure out what my resolution is. I’m trying not to make it “write more” because that is just too plain vague and is something I tell myself every year. It’s more like something I scream at myself constantly for not doing, which does little to nothing.

Look at that. I got through this post without mentioning the outrageous state of the world and terrible political decisions. Not sure if I should be worried or proud. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to set aside time to brood later. What am I saying, that’s on the docket everyday.

I am looking forward to next year and what surprises it will bring. I’m hoping it’ll be a year of healing for the world. Maybe some peace somewhere?! Okay, now I’m starting to devolve into despair, so it’s time to wrap this baby up. I hope everyone has a safe and lovely holiday. Looking forward to this next week of “what day/time is it?” Because every year I swear these days between Xmas and New Year’s get longer and more confounding. Until next year!

Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!