We live in a society that does a phenomenal job at making women feel their very existence is to serve and their emotions are a weakness. It’s not uncommon to hear the term “bitch” thrown around to denote men who get emotional or “don’t be a little bitch” tossed around to let someone know they’re not being cooperative enough. This blatantly sexist language weaves in and out of our daily lives and women put up with it constantly or speak up and befall unfair, harsh criticism. Even the most powerful women hear this language. Women of every generation hear this language. No woman is exempt. “Don’t be such a GIRL,” the word girl emphasized with a sneering punch and an aggressively rolled “rrrlll” sound. “No girls allowed,” a childish boyhood staple to keep girls out of spaces where they’re not wanted. It may not be as vulgar or overt, but it still reflects the same misogynistic sentiment. It’s seemingly cute when kids are young. Kid Donnie just trying to keep his sister out of his clubhouse, but picture never growing out of that mindset and subsequently resenting women as an adult. Think about the many boardrooms that don’t have a single woman in their midst and never give it a second thought. Think about the makeup of local, state, and national government. Straight white cis men have held office for centuries. In very recent history women weren’t even allowed to vote let alone serve as public officials. The first woman elected to federal office was in 1917. And it’s not like women were elected often after that!

Young women all across the country are growing up in a society that tells them they need men to be protected, but that men’s violence against them is acceptable and sometimes encouraged/condoned. They’re seeing that a woman’s voice doesn’t matter and isn’t considered important in national conversations, like abortion and pay equity. They’re seeing women trying to disrupt the status quo by shattering this image of womanhood being meek and helpless, but being met with unbelievable amounts of resistance.

An election lost because men felt threatened. Rights eroded away because men don’t feel women should have a say in what happens to their bodies. The MeToo movement begging for accountability of powerful men who abused women for decades with impunity. There were a few wins, but we all know the well runs deep. There are plenty of men who’s names aren’t trending in social media that have used their privilege to take away the dignity of others. Trans women of color killed at alarming rates because men cannot reconcile their love or attraction for a person who they refuse to accept and take this rage out in lethal ways.

Men hold the power in this society. The terrible ones hold the power and try to silence or tear down women at every turn. This is why AOC’s speech on the House floor was so important. She refused to let a powerful man’s comments slide and get swallowed up by the media to be forgotten. Her remarks went beyond a response to Rep. Yoho. The way she made sure to not censor herself. To say his words was such a profound testament to what should no longer be tolerable. He called her crazy, out of her mind, a fucking bitch, which she plainly said because that’s what he said. To purposefully not omit those particular words from her speech was intentional so that those words are forever immortalized in the Congressional record. What he said won’t be forgotten. That was abuse. It was unacceptable. AOC ignited a fire in the women of the House and all women holding office. She spoke not just for them but for every woman who endures sexism. She spoke for all women everywhere who continue to be disenfranchised under the weight of the patriarchy.

This nation is going through an awakening and all of the proverbial cards are being set out on the table. Racism (and COVID) is not the only disease plaguing this country. Sexism plays a hefty part as does class - that’s a whole other blog post.

Hearing her words at the House yesterday was another reminder of how elected officials need to be held accountable for their actions and that they scarily embody a side of America that is backwards and indefensible. Most of this country, I truly believe, is looking for change, but it’s scary how many people who are against change are the ones who need to be the most willing to welcome it. Luckily that fool is retiring this year so Florida has a chance to elect someone who isn’t flesh colored silly putty. It is Florida though so I’m sure it’s going to be tough.

I also want to note how embarrassing his apology was. Bringing up his wife and daughters is the equivalent of white people trying to say they’re not racist because they have a black friend. BOTH CAN BE TRUE BRUH. You can and probably are sexist and also have a wife and daughters which is horrifying. Also, WE SEE YOU TOO ROGER.

I do also want to make it clear that not all women are feminists or feel there is a glaring disparity between how men and women operate in this world. Just a friendly reminder of the embarrassing amount of WW who voted for Trump. To them, I’ll say I don’t understand, but I’m still fighting for you , your daughters, and your future. Though I will never be able to fully fathom not wanting to be treated equally.
There is this aversion to the word feminist as if it’s synonymous with man-hater, which is absurd. However, I get the ambivalence towards the term as the feminist movement did not include women of color. My feelings towards feminism are a little complex, because of this. Fundamentally, I am all about equalling the playing field, but the field for me is just a little bit more uneven than others. There are also toxic pockets of feminism that are exclusionary and just plan hateful. Whose definition ruins what it means to be a woman. Looking atchu TERFs.
Intersectionality is also an important component of feminism that is often overlooked and is vital in understanding that not every woman’s struggle is the same. It doesn’t mean it’s a competition, but positioning these conversations in a way that is all-encompassing ensures there is no erasure of self. We as women should absolutely be banning together, but our realities should never be diminished or ignored because where I came from is just as important as my womanhood. All this to say is we have a chance to get this right and to make sure that we are fighting for all women.

For the fellassss -

There is so much that needs to be done to eradicate sexism. Toxic masculinity plays a gigantic role in the perpetuation of the patriarchy. It can’t just be women who are speaking out against sexism, but men who see women being disrespected need to take a stand, too. Your friend calling that woman at the bar a bitch because she won’t give him her number is a buddy you need to reprimand. I guess in this day and age maybe something more along the lines of… If your friend is describing a woman online as a bitch through text?! You know the instances where sexist remarks have been expressed whatever the medium. Y’all also need to do a dive deep and make sure you’re not projecting insecurities onto women. Do some soul searching. Sexism comes in many forms, so also do some reading. You got this.

Of course, I need to conclude with AOC’s exhilarating response below for anyone who needs a nice Friday evening energy boost:

#blm #sexismsucks