First and foremost this sucks. Thanksgiving is by far the best holiday because I love food (duh), and I get to see my extended family. This year I will not be taking my normal sojourn to the south to bask in the warm Miami air and post pics of the beach on my social media channels. No, I will be staying put this year, because the thought of getting on a plane and potentially bringing the virus to my family terrifies me. I know I’m not the only one making this sad decision, but I also see petulant pea-brains who are vehemently opposed to shuttering their hapless super spreader plans. It’s this unbridled selfishness being exhibited across the nation that truly worries me. It seems the virus hasn’t directly impacted some folks so they elect to not trust how serious it is and how deadly it can be. Then there are those that do know people who have died from it but refuse to wear masks or practice restrictions because of this strange opposition to reason and science. It would be different if the virus could discern who these idiots are, but their recklessness puts us all in danger. Rachel Maddow made a super heartfelt case for avoiding exposure to the virus at all costs after her partner battled a terrible moment of serious sickness. The part in her plea that really gets to me is about how we need to “recalibrate risk” because although you may be willing to get the virus, how would you feel if the closest person in the world got it instead? That’s the way to look at it. Not just to avoid it for your own health and safety but for the people you love.

The controversy around traveling for Thanksgiving this year is one of the tougher debates for a multitude of reasons. Not only are familial relationships getting pushed to their limits right now, but it feels impossible to keep people from sacrificing yet another thing that will bring joy… on the most part. It’s not easy but there are a lot of celebration realities contributing to why healthcare professionals are urging people to stay home. The most glaring one is hosting many different people from all over under one roof. We all know by now how quickly the virus can spread indoors. Restaurants in many places are still functioning at reduced capacity indoors but have most seating outside. The tricky part here is this isn’t restaurants with ventilation and strict guidelines. This is family, friends, loved ones, close relatives, people who haven’t been together in a long, long time in close contact not wearing masks, embracing, talking closely. Just imagine. The atmosphere is lax and loose because it’s friends and family. Of course they’d want to pretend there’s not a pandemic raging and act as they normally would. This is exactly why the best option is not to be put into a situation like that at all. With the increasing number of people contracting the virus every single day and the mounting hospitalization numbers, we are told by the CDC the best option is to stay home and not travel, which will in turn prevent an even greater strain on the healthcare system and its workers. Just as we saw in the beginning of the pandemic, healthcare workers are again pleading with people to take precautions because they are stressed af and getting upset at people’s dismissals of the seriousness of the virus. This surge is worse than the beginning of the pandemic because millions of incredulous people willing to take their chances.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday because, in my family, it’s a long weekend where everyone comes together from wherever they are to descend on someone’s house and eat way too much. My aunts and uncles sit around the table after dinner talking about current events and when we were big enough the nieces and nephews joined in on these conversations, too. My grandmother tells us stories about her childhood and we’d hear about family members long gone but never forgotten. My cousins and I would get together and play video games and on a few occasions hit South Beach. It was very entertaining to see them out in the wild dancing with strangers. We all go out to the movies and watch some cheesy holiday blockbuster. One year it was Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. We all got up multiple times during the end of that movie because of all those fake out end scenes. It was pretty hilarious. Unfortunately, this year we won’t be participating in any of those fun traditions, but celebrating virtually instead. I haven’t seen my family in person for over a year. Certainly the longest I’ve not been able to hug my mom, my grandmother, my siblings, my niece and nephew, my aunts and uncles, my cousins. It’s heartbreaking to see their faces on screens and miss them from afar. I’m willing to do it because I would rather not see them just a little while longer than not see them at all forever.

I do believe there are instances where it is okay to visit family if you’ve been planning for weeks up to the event, you’ve spoken with them and are okay with the risks, and/or regularly testing. The number of people is a factor and knowing if they’ve been consistently implementing preventative measures. I think it also depends on where and how far you travel. I will be missing my family this year because plan travel just seems to risky. I’m debating on how safe it is to see Ian’s family, too. They’re in the tristate area and I’ve seen them throughout the pandemic, but with the surge in cases it’s not like before. It won’t be an entire house filled with people, and I know we’ve all been safe on the most part. It will probably be fine, but I don’t know what I’d do if any of them got sick because of me. It’s something we’ll have to figure out together. The decision to not attend Thanksgiving is definitely something to consider on an individual basis, but nobody should feel guilty for staying home.

Ultimately, nobody can force anyone to heed the pleas for staying home and there are circumstances where these holiday get togethers are relatively safe to happen. I just am so scared for the potential fallout of these larger gatherings and how it could’ve easily been prevented. I understand though that this exceptionally crappy year makes you just want to see your family even more and it is AWFUL that we can’t for everyone’s safety. In the meantime, I’m going to try and not spiral thinking of doomsday scenarios and practice up for the “name that tune” game my family and I will be playing on Zoom this Thursday.

No matter what conclusion you come to for how you’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving, be as safe as you possibly can.